There’s nothing worse in this world than feeling completely powerless. This was exactly how I felt as I stood in the middle of the crowded living room, watching as my boyfriend-- ex boyfriend-- of two years swayed to the rhythm with another girl. The whole picture almost made me sick to my stomach, it just didn’t feel right. The way he held her hips securely with his strong hands, looking into her eyes with a gleam in his chocolate brown eyes... it all reminded me of the times he would the the exact same thing with me. At this point I could feel the warm tears welling up in my eyes, threatening to spill over onto my flushed cheeks. I needed to get out of here.
I quickly turned on my heels and brushed passed the hordes of teenagers who were grinding up against one another. The only thing that I could hear over the loud music was the sound of my own heartbeat thumping in my ears. Goddamnit, I wish this pounding would stop. Suddenly, I felt a hand being placed on my upper arm, bringing me to a complete halt. I quickly looked over my shoulder to come face to face with my best friend, Connor.
“Heather, are you leaving already?” I could make out the words on his lips even though I couldn’t hear a word he was saying over my own thoughts.
I gave him a terse nod and turned back to face the door. I couldn’t cry, not here... not in front of Connor. For weeks, he had spent all of his time worrying about my own relationship problems when he had issues in his own life that he had to focus on. I felt like I was just a burden to him at this point. In fact, I didn’t believe that I deserved someone like him in life... or maybe that was my low self esteem speaking. At this point, I couldn’t tell the difference after my ex boyfriend had made an effort to make me feel like an utter piece of shit.
“I’ll see you later,” I quickly said over my shoulder before freeing my arm from his grip, rushing to the door.
The moment the door opened and I stepped out into the cool autumn air, I felt relieved. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair, brushing the brown locks back and out of my eyes. A small shaky sigh passed my lips as I began to walk down the sidewalk. With each step I felt as if all the emotions were being released. Slowly, tears began to trickle down my cheeks and I felt myself raising the back of my hand to make a weak attempt to wipe them away. It seemed useless due to the fact that each time I would wipe them away, new stray tears would appear in its place.
“Heather!”
I heard a familiar voice call out to me from behind, my heart skipping a beat as I realized exactly who it was. Connor... of course he would make an effort to catch up to me. I slowly turned around to face him as I heard the footsteps growing closer and closer.
“Connor... you didn’t have to leave the party just because I did, go back and have some fun.” I explained with a small sniffle, finally meeting his face.
A look of concern flashed across Connor’s face as he stepped forward and took my hands into his, intertwining our fingers. For a moment we both just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes-- not daring to utter a single world. It felt as if the world around us was moving in slow motion and there was no one but us to worry about. It was nice not to focus on my ex, or any of my other troubles.
“I’m always gonna come after you,” His words finally spoke the silence as his thumb brushed over the skin on the back of my hand, leaving a warm sensation behind.
“I don’t know why you would honestly. You heard what John told me a while ago, I’m nothing.” I dropped my head and looked down at my shoes, my heart wrenching. I could still hear his harsh tone echoing in my head as he spat the words out. That was the last thing he said to me after we broke up. After two fucking years that was the only thing he had to say about our relationship.
“Don’t you dare say that!” Connor yelled, pulling his hands away from mine and stepping backwards.
I slowly lifted my gaze to meet his and tilted my head to the side in confusion. This was the first time Connor had ever raised his voice around me, it was strange. I examined his face and noted a look of agitation painted across it.
“Why not...?”
Connor slowly let out a small shaky sigh and ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. The anger that could be seen in his eyes seemed to make his bright green eyes look like a pair of two sparkling emeralds, it was the only beauty in this moment.
“Because you can’t listen to that asshole, he doesn’t know the first thing about you. He doesn’t know that your favourite meal is Taco Bell, he doesn’t know that you wrinkle your nose when you laugh, and he doesn’t know how you sometimes shamelessly cry over the Notebook. He will never know what it’s like to hold you when you cry, or sleep by your side... But I do! And I wouldn’t trade any of this knowledge for anything in the world.” He exclaimed, his voice strained slightly in the heat of this moment.
At this point my heart was pounding again, yet this time it was not out of heartache... it was out of love. Had I been so blind that I hadn’t noticed how much Connor cared for me? I slowly stepped forward and closed the space between our bodies, leaning up on my tippy-toes to bring our lips together. It was a sweet and sincere kiss, not like the sloppy and rough ones that John and I would share. I slowly pulled away, letting my lips hover over his for a moment before leaning down.
“I love you Heather, don’t let anyone ever tell you that you’re not good enough... because you’ll always be good enough for me.”
I was a goner, there was no turning back from this point. I, Heather, knew that Connor Franta was the guy I was truly meant to be with. A smile crept onto my lips with this thought, placing my hands gently upon his chest.
“Come on babe, let’s go get you some Taco Bell and watch Disney movies.” He said softly as he wrapped his arm around my waist, leading me down the sidewalk.
This night had truly taken a turn for the best.
