Awakening (bxb)

Realisation

Connors POV

I was right...the questions he asked were launched at me in rapid succession and I had seconds to answer them before he moved on.

"Who was she?"

“she was just a friend”

"Did it feel good?"

“of course”

"Do you feel guilty?"

“not really”

"Are you going to get serious with her?"

“no way in hell”

"Why’d you run away?"

The last question brought me up short and I blinked slightly to clear my hazy sight and cleared my monotonous voice, now how was I supposed to answer that?  Kyle didn’t turn to look at me, in fact he didn’t move. He just sat there looking up out of my skylight, there weren’t many stars, there never was, but the sky was still really cool and he seemed fixated on it, as if answers to all his unasked questions would just appear.

There was a small silence in which I thought of several answers. Some where incredibly stupid that I dismissed immediately...e.g. I saw a meteorite fall out of the sky....Some where a little more believable but I knew he wouldn’t fall for them. Instead I took the bumpy, hard route. I chose to tell the truth.

"I was really freaked out; I’ve never...reacted...like that before"

it wasn’t until the words were out of mouth that I noticed that I had in fact unconsciously lied, I had reacted like that before, only twice before...with him. I gritted my teeth and waited for him to speak. It was like I was waiting for the hammer to come down on my head, I could feel my hands start to shake and my heart was doing some kind of tango dance in my chest. I tensed when I felt Kyle move and then suddenly he was on me. Not ON me in the sense of sexual harassment, he had twisted on his side so his head was now rested on my chest and his arm was around my waist and his leg covered one of my thighs. It felt...nice.

"You always react Con, you always have, have you ever heard your heart when I’m this close to you?"

I could hear the smile in his voice as he listened to my heart beat and soon his fingers were gently tapping out the pace on my waist. Somehow I knew he had noticed my inner physical reactions to him, even though I had put myself in my little denial bubble, telling myself he knew nothing.

"Its called nerves Kyle...you make me nervous with all your sexual harassments"

I listened to my voice and cringed. I knew I was lying and so did he. We both turned our heads to the bedroom door as we heard a knock. We weren’t worried about anyone coming in and finding us this way, we could move faster than them. Before they even opened the door we could be doing completely different things.

"No honey, leave them, they might be asleep, and I’ve left a note on the fridge, c'mon"

Mom’s voice seeped through the door and we waited as our parents left the house and started their car as quietly as they could.

"Hmm, must be a late business trip, wonder how long they'll be gone?"

My voice was unusually high and I coughed a little to mask it.

"Long enough"

His husky reply made me want to tear our clothes off and let him ravish me in so many ways, but I held back the animalistic side of me and thought instead of mom and dads faces if they ever knew how much I truly cared for my brother. They would be disgusted and that was one thing I could not handle, being thrown away again would destroy me.