Insomnia: The unknowing darkness

Loneliness

Sleep, why must it run from me? Like the smoke of the night, the more I reach for it, the more it evades my grasp. Leaving me to wonder if it'll ever come. As I lay here; waiting for it's numbing embrace, I begin to ponder a thought. What have I done to deserve such cruel punishment? Have I wronged someone or something to the point that I am of need of this fate?
Staring up at my ceiling; my eyes tracing over every bump and faint image my imagination musters up. Alone, tired, and feeling hopeless.
My eyes burn, my brain is tired, my whole body is in pain. Aching with the type of dull pain that you wish would just stop already. Even with the pain in my head, I can't stop thinking. Thinking about tomorrow and the horrors it might hold for me. All the tasks I haven't done worry me as well, making a sick feeling in my stomach emerge. I feel as if the entire earth is looking down upon me in shame, though I have done nothing.
I'm starting to break. With my sanity starting to cave in, the warm tears rolling down my distraught face, and hope of bliss fading, I can do nothing but cry.
I'm so alone. In the cramped space that is my room, nothing but darkness surrounds me, setting off the idea of just leaving. Leaving forever, for nights similar to this has gone on for too long now. Perhaps leaving to eternal rest maybe the answer, for at least there I would be ensured rest and everlasting peace. That is if what I pondered earlier is not true, and I haven't wronged a soul. For I know in my heart I haven't.
With the tears wiped away, but the pain still present, I glance at my window. Knowing the outside world can run off to there blessed dream land while I lay here in agony. I feel as if their all mocking me. Even the hum of my fan cannot console me, I even think I hear faint laughter in it's buzz. It might just be my sanity running from me as well.
The darkness in my room seems to be thickening and getting closer. Wrapping it's dark, cold cloud around me. I feel the darkness, it's worried about me. Like it actually cares about me. That gives me comfort before I realized what was to come. As it engulfs me, in it's suffocating and bitter embrace. It's the only embrace I have known.
Later and later the night presses on, I feel it's been centuries since the light of day has grazed my curtains. The nagging thought of tomorrow haunts me. With nothing granting the gift of a blissful night's sleep.
In this room I am trapped, alone, and on the verge of giving up.
As light finally starts to flood into my room. I know that day is here. Without any sleep the only thing that I worry about is the night to come.