Avoiding The Marauders

I Love To Hate Him... Or Is It The Other Way Around?

I was frozen.

My feet seemed to be stuck to the ground and my eyes just wouldn't move away. I couldn't stop watching them. I don't know who the girl is, but from the look on James' face when he finally came up for air and saw me standing there, I wasn't supposed to.

I felt a hand curl around mine, and for a minute I was going to yank it back, thinking it was Severus, but I glanced up to see Remus' face looking down at me and shook my head.

Then I turned and ran away.

***

I found an empty compartment and sat for a while, just staring at the wall in front of me and thinking.

I had no right to be angry: I know that. It's not like me and James were dating or anything of the sort. He probably thought of us as just friends and I don't blame him, I've done everything I can to think about him the exact same way, but it hadn't worked.

I know because it hurt. My heart was hurting and I wondered if this was what it was like to have a broken heart and then I realised; to have a broken heart, you have to be in love.

The look on Remus' face, the way Alice had tried to stop me from seeing him, the way Sirius always gave me knowing smirks and what Mel was always saying told me that I was the last one to work it out.

There was a soft knock on the door and I saw Mel standing there, looking smaller than ever and staring at me like I might break. She slid the door open and sat next to me, placing her arm around my shoulder.

I looked at her, feeling the tears run down my face, and said pathetically,"I hate him, Mel!"

She just nodded and held me closer. "I know." Though she didn't sound like she believed it.

And neither did I.

We sat in silence for a while: I cried, she held me. After a while I glanced up at her and wiped my eyes on the back of my hand, stifling a sob. I had to pull myself together. We were going to be getting off the Express soon and tonight I have Professor Slughorn's party, he'd be there.

"Sorry," I muttered to Mel, pulling away. "I shouldn't have cried."

The look on her face showed me she was a lot more pissed off than I had thought. "No," she snapped. "He's an idiot for not seeing what he could have had. I can't believe he kissed that Ravenclaw bitch, I mean, seriously!" She was on a war path now, I couldn't stop her. "You should have seen Sirius, he was well pissed. Told James that he needed to get himself together. I'm not thinking about her, though, I'm gonna kill that Potter bast-"

"Mel," I said gently, cutting her off. "It's okay. It's not like we were dating. He can see who he wants."

"Yeah, but-"

I sighed. "But nothing. Just leave him alone."

She frowned. "That's gonna be very difficult."

***

The one thing that I was planning to do was to ignore him because if I ignore him, I won't say anything stupid and get myself into a bigger mess than I already am in. So, walking down the hall with Mel on my arm and Remus and Sirius flanking my side, I held my head high. It was almost funny, really. They were acting like I needed to be protected from something and, in a way I did, just not in a physical sense.

"Lily!"

Sure, I heard him. I've heard all the cries he's been calling at me for the past five minutes, but the Grand Hall is so close, I'm so hungry, and this silent treatment thing is going really well.