Dear Mom,
By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I just want you to know that there's nothing you could have done to stop this. I know you always tried your best for me, and if anyone doubts you, just show them this letter.
I don't know if I can really explain why I did this. I guess it's because I know that I'll never be happy. I know that every day of my life will hurt and be a lot more bad than good. It's entirely a matter of, What's the point of living?
I could have just gone and offed myself quietly, but that would've been an even bigger waste. If I go this way, taking the people who made my life miserable with me, then maybe it will send a message. Maybe something will change, and some other miserable kid like me somewhere will get treated better and maybe find a reason to live.
Mom, I could never tell you how unhappy I was. I knew there was nothing you could do to help, and life has been hard enough on you already. I'm truly, truly sorry that I'm going to put you through so much pain, but I hope that in a year or two you'll get over it. Maybe you could move away and change your name and even have a new kid.
You can start over. I wish I could be there with you, but I'm past the point of no return.
Love forever,
Emily
