Chapter 16
The second Santana's hand left Brittany's a feeling of dread overcame her. She could see Santana standing still, her usual soft brown eyes were darker, a storm of emotions playing behind the brown pools. She felt like an intruder in a standoff between Santana and Allison.
Santana felt numb as she stared into familiar green eyes that seemed duller from what she remembered. She has been tortured by those bright green eyes for far too long to notice the difference.
After what felt like an eternity, Santana finally found her voice and said, "What are you doing here Allison?"
Allison finally broke the eye contact and stared at the ground and in a small voice said "It's your birthday and I just wanted to see you and say it in person."
Santana wanted to laugh out loud at the declaration but something about the way Allison looked stopped her, she looks so broken and lost and a long forgotten need to comfort her slowly creeps into Santana.
"San?" Brittany's voice broke through the haze in Santana's mind and Santana turned to face Brittany, an unmistakable sadness evident in her eyes.
Brittany's heart clenched at the sight and she wanted nothing more than to take Santana in her arms and wipe away the pain she knew Santana was feeling but she stayed rooted to her spot, feeling Allison's presence more than ever, as if the mere presence of the girl was slowly driving a wedge between her and Santana.
"Britt, I.." Santana started but not really sure what to say of the situation they found themselves in.
"Santana, I need to go. We'll talk soon ok?" Brittany said, squeezing Santana's hand. Santana just nodded, she wanted to scream out and tell Brittany to stay but Allison's gaze weighed down heavily on her. She watched Brittany's retreating figure helplessly, wanting so much to run after her but her feet were refusing to budge.
"Is she.." Allison said quietly letting the question hang in the air.
Instead of answering, Santana repeated her question, "What are you doing here?" Santana said her voice tinged with controlled anger.
Allison winced at the obvious contempt in Santana's voice and answered "It was your birthday and.." She was cut off by Santana, who by then couldn't control the slew of emotions assaulting her.
"Cut the crap Allison, don't you think you're two years late?" Santana said, this time the anger in her voice was unmistakable.
"I'm sorry Santana, I can't undo what happened but I'm here now to ask you for another chance." Allison said, her green eyes pleading.
Santana can hear the desperation in her voice and she suddenly felt tired. The whirlwind of emotions was proving too much for her and she felt disoriented with the sudden turn of events, everything was happening too fast.
"I have to go." Santana said her voice almost a whisper. She started walking towards the door of the building not looking at Allison. After a few steps she felt Allison's hand on her arm, the action surprising Santana.
"Santana please." Allison begged. Santana stopped and looked at Allison, she tried to think of something to say but her mind was still spinning and coherent thoughts were eluding her. Allison took advantage of the silence and said, "Just at least give me a chance to explain, I'm staying at the Pearl Hotel on West 49th. I'll be there until Monday, please Santana, all I'm asking is for you to hear me out." Santana broke the stare and Allison had no choice but to let go of Santana's arm and watch until she was inside the building, leaving Allison alone and shivering in the cold New York night.
xx
Brittany wasn't sure how she arrived at her apartment, she was in a daze after what happened. She remembered how happy she was earlier with Santana and how she was looking forward to finally going on an official date with her, without pretenses this time, the two of them taking a chance on each other. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and her head hurt from all the emotions she was trying to keep in check. When she saw Allison, she saw the determination in the other girl's eyes and she knew immediately that she would do anything to get Santana back. Her Santana, or at least she thought. She went into her room and saw the stuffed panda that Santana gave her, and this time she choked back a sob. The funny thing was she fought her growing attraction to Santana for too long, and when she finally gave in this happened. She would laugh if the whole thing wasn't so sad, they were so close yet so damn far. After changing into her pajamas Brittany went to her bed and lied down. She brushed away the tear that fell involuntarily from her eyes. She reached for her phone despite the twinge of pain in her heart when she remembered that only yesterday she was giddy with happiness exchanging flirty text messages with Santana. Instead of finding a message she saw several missed calls from her sister and a voicemail. She sat up, her heart racing, and pressed the voicemail button on her phone. Her mind went blank when she heard her sister's voice, clearly trying to hold back tears.
