I'm not a poet,
I'm just a depressed girl,
a girl who thinks her words can save her from her suicidal thoughts.
I was never able to say the things I wanted to say.
They tell me to smile
Smile?
Do they think I want to?
I've faked it this whole time for 7 years.
Faking it,
so my friends don't worry.
Faking it,
so the guy who turned me down,
doesn't see how much it hurts.
Faking it,
so no one can see the thousand tears,
that I hide behind this fake smile.
I don't even want to anymore.
Nothing matters anymore.
Not even my life matters to me anymore.
But they tell me to smile.
So I guess I will.
Since that's the only thing I can actually do right.
Or did I di that wrong too?
I don't care anymore.
I'm tired of trying to trust people,
only to be hurt in the end.
That girl,
sits in the back,
stays quiet.
She's thinking,
but no one knew what was really on her mind.
Every day she comes,
her morning started with getting blamed for everything.
Her night ends with tears,
family fights and argues,
they put her through hell.
She goes to school,
and she stills smiles,
smiling so no one see's the scars on her heart.
She's slowly fading,
and every thought that runs through her mind,
stays the same,
thinking of all the ways to escape this world.
Suicidal thoughts,
run her mind,
and she can't help but consider them for that night.
Who do you think this girl is?
She's the writer of these poems.
Tired of life,
which is really hell to her.
Would anyone notice?
Would they ran after me if I walk away alone,
having my mind fill with words that people say to her.
Demon- child
useless
worthless
kill yourself
Do you still think your the only one that hurts inside?
Pathetic
stupid
idiotic
never gonna be loved
ugly
Do you still think I always smile on my own will?
Slut
whore
fat
retard
Do you still think I'm always happy?
The list goes on and on.
Do you really want to hear them?
You know,
someday these suicidal thoughts,
will end someone dead.
That person,
might just be me.
So tell me,
why am I a prisoner in my own mind?
No, I'm not okay.
I'll store my feelings far, far away.
" I'm fine" that's what you want me to say right?
I am such a weak person.
You know,
I'm more broken than you think.
I'm not a poet,
I'm just a depressed girl,
a girl who thinks her words can save her from her suicidal thoughts.
