Fix A Heart

Chapter 2 - Lauren

"You're so hypnotizing, you got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep," - Demi Lovato

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Days passed since my little encounter with that one particular girl, Camila. Since then, I couldn't shake thoughts of her. However much I tried to push them away they kept coming back. Anytime I was doing anything, an image of her came into mind and I couldn't stop smiling. She was a cute girl, that I couldn't deny. No one could. She literally had this amazing font of beauty that drew you to her.

On that day, I'd been hoping to talk to her at least a bit more but, after leaving the toilet stool, I realised she'd left. And I hadn't even taken very long. Only a few minutes at most. I was extremely disappointed to find that she'd left. My first thoughts were that she didn't want to talk to me. Then came the thoughts that I shouldn't even be caring if she didn't I'd just met the girl. Then I spotted that paper towel.

At first, it looked like scribbles a five year old would make on paper in their first attempts at using any pen or pencil to write. Then I strained my eyes enough to be able to make out that it was writing. There were a few numbers on it too and a heart in the bottom right hand corner:

'Sorry we couldn't chat, I had to go.
Text me anytime you want :).'

And then her number was written underneath that. I found it cute and considerate and nice that she'd left that note for me. It meant she cared and that she also wanted to speak to me as much as I did to her. I still hadn't worked out why she didn't speak but I didn't care, she was perfect just the way she was. I liked her that way. She was still beautiful and cute.

One of the cutest things, I found, was that she signed the note as 'Camila. Not Camilla.' So that was our new inside joke, right?

I'd been having arguments upon arguments with myself on whether to text her or not. I knew I couldn't call her because she wouldn't speak but I could have texted her. A part of my mind told me to hurry up or I'd lose her, but another part said that I should give it time to not seem too desperate. But I was desperate, I was very desperate. It was incredible.

I was desperate to talk to her. I was desperate to hear her voice. I was desperate to see her smile. I was desperate to talk to her. I was desperate to see her. I was desperate to make her notice me. I was desperate to make her think of me. I was desperate that she didn't find me desperate. I was desperate for her to like me. I was desperate to have her and only her.

Normani didn't understand. She said it was just a crush that would fade in a few days. So why in the world hadn't that happened yet? The more the days passed, the more I thought about her. Every minute she was on my mind. Every second I was making up scenarios in which I'd be able to talk to her. In lessons, I'd zone out just thinking about her more and more. This wasn't a schoolgirl crush and it wasn't going to fade anytime soon. That was certain to me.

Since the moment I first saw her I was drawn to her. It was the type of thing that scared you. It was as if we had a connection. And, at least from my side, it was really strong. I didn't think she was thinking about me 10% as much as I was thinking about her. And she wouldn't be dwelling on stupid things like me. She'd probably just get it over with. But I couldn't.

Any time I picked up the phone to text her, my hands started to shake and I started to sweat. So why was it that I could talk to her so normally? The very thought of her made me blush and gave me butterflies and I'd only ever seen her for ten minutes at the most, if that. You couldn't say I liked her but you could say this was a very advanced crush. Very advanced.

I'd also thought about the possibility that she didn't like girls. Maybe she'd even be disgusted by it. But then I'd shot it down in order to stay positive. And then again, she could have not like me and the note could have just been a friendly act. I tried to come up with a positive for every negative and a negative for every positive. The chances always seemed to even themselves out, so why hadn't I texted her yet?