Sciam Imagines

World So Cold *Drabble*

Liam Dunbar's Point Of View

I don't sleep. Ever. The head shrink says I don't sleep because I'm an insomniac, but that's not why. I don't sleep, because my restraints are so uncomfortable. I don't tell anyone they're uncomfortable, because it's my fault they have to restrain me. I have to be restrained, because they say I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and it causes me to be irrational and lash out. That's not really why. I'm irrational and lash out, because of the things I've seen. The things I still see. I'm irrational when I see the awful monsters that want to hurt me. As if they haven't hurt me enough. I lash out because I need to protect myself, or no one else will.

I have no one left to protect me. The only thing protecting me is my restraints. I need to be kept in this cushioned box where I can't hurt myself or anyone else. Its my fault, and my fault only, that I see these awful monsters. Its my fault they want to hurt me. Its my fault they hurt him. He tried to protect me, and it cost him his life. I have nothing left. All that is left is an exceptionally tiny sliver of hope. This small sliver that Scott is in a better place. That if I stick it out a little longer, and if I endure enough misery, that in the end I'll get an eternity of happiness with him. An eternity without monsters, grief, sorrow, or despair. An eternity of bliss that is worth this lifetime of loss and suffering.