Turn Back Time

It was the happiest day of my life. Bells were ringing, flowers were everywhere, gestures were exchanged, my family and friends were there, and everyone looked so happy during that white veil occasion. Then little boys marched holding the symbols for marriage. Following them were cute little girls scattering more flower petals. The organ started to play. Everyone stood up and eventually, a man walked in, following him was the most amazing girl I have ever seen. Yes, I was marrying the girl of my dreams. Our happily ever after was about to begin.

As they walked down the aisle, moving closer, and closer, and closer towards me. My heart's pounding became stronger and stronger, as if my chest was about to explode. The girl's beautiful face became clearer. She smiled as she glanced at me. Before she reached the altar, my heart skipped a beat, only to find out that it was only my mother shouting, "Wake up Phillip! You're late for school".

Ugh! I been dreaming again, that same dream I've had for many nights now.

Yeah, reality happened. Like every teenager, I hate being interrupted when I am having a nice dream, and I hate waking up early in the morning. As I opened my eyes, I wondered what I should do next. Should I get up? or should I lay down for a while until I get the vim to do it? I was battling myself again.

"I should get up! So that I'll have more time for the day."

"It's better to lay down for a while, so I'll have more energy and be less exhausted."

"I need to go or I'll be late!"

"But my eyes are still vulnerable, a few minutes will do."

So I snoozed for a while to satisfy myself, hoping to continue my dream, of course. It was a cold morning and I curled up like a baby. It was like the room was air-conditioned. Those were the times when it's best to sleep because of the season.

When I opened my eyes, "Oh, God!" I immediately jumped out of bed when I learned that I dozed off for 30 minutes. I was feeling sorry for myself for going back to sleep. I hurriedly took a bath, clothed, munched some of my breakfast, brushed my teeth, and went to school like a deer running for its life.

It was the first day of school, and I was about to step into a new milestone. Everyone was excited for being a senior high school student. They say it would be the best years of being a student. But what's the big deal? What makes it different from Junior High? It's just a year of harder subjects, more exams, terror teachers, projects, infatuations, and fake friends.

"Okay, I'll just study harder, pass all subjects, and have high grades."

Since grade school, I have always been in the star section, one of the bright students. I've been with the nerds and bookworms since I was a little boy. But the thing is, everytime people learns about my academic standing, they assume that I'm an honour student, a Science quizzer, or a Math wizard, and every time they ask, I can't give them an answer. It's because I never had an award. I was not an honour student, I have never attended a Science or Math Quiz in School, and I didn't join any sports event. I never joined any competitions in my entire life!

It's not that I didn't want to join any event, actually, I wanted to. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to be the Class Valedictorian, I wanted to be a Quizzer, I wanted to be a Varsity player, and I wanted to do something that makes me happy. But sadly, I didn't have the guts to do so. I don't know why. I lack confidence. I know I am good at something, but every time I finally find something I am good at, someone out there is already far better than me. Then a thought came to my mind...

"Maybe, this time, I should do it. Maybe it's time for me to join an event."

"No, I should prioritize my studies first."