How fucking dare him, who gave him such a fucking right?! Curse those blue mystical eyes being the reason of my heart throbbing. Never had I believed in such things, mind wrapped only around the thought that love was only in novels or fairy tales. Is this love? Maybe is just a hallucination or dream. Back of my mind silently plead for it not to be a dream, just want to continue living it. Just curiosity wanting to know more of this new feeling and this man. A man, for fuck sakes.
Fingers tugged through the mess of my hair, tangling them in frustration. The position I was in was one I've never thought I would ever see myself in. Jaw clenches burying my face into the palms of my hands, sitting on the edge of the bed. His scent drawn all over the silk and pillow, silent rain drops in patterns against the clear window. Time being 3:15 A.M, mind not resting in peace for a nanosecond. Haunting regrets coming to me, as if I had a choice and know so clearly what was right but I walked right through the flame. Usually never leaves me in bruises or burns, but now I am left in them mentally. Rapid beating of my heart, heavy lump back of my throat restraining in guilt.
It's been two days. No Noah. I had the chance to hold him back, but the fuck up person I am, I stood dumbfounded after him finding me at the worst moment ever. His eyes giving the clear emotion of pain and jealousy in them, but no tear. Didn't do a single thing, I knew he waited for me to speak up but only did I care for my own pleasures to be accomplish.
Bare feet walked over the cold floor out the dimmed bedroom, numbness through my body but only my heart throbbing against his rib cage. Reflecting of his figure of the bathroom's mirror. Slight of dark under my eyes due to the overdoing of alcohol in my veins, and lack of sleep due to a but now..it wasn't the alcohol that made me feel in such a way. Leaning against the sink, clenching onto it with force knuckles morphing into a white. Tilting head down exhaling a sharp breath before turning the cold water to run down, taking a handful to wash upon my sleepless face. It was too cold. Gazing up at my reflection, silver eyes the white of my eyes being red. Jaw clenches shaking my head in anger turning away, the decision of a cold fucking shower was left for I to only strip out of the black material of my briefs walking toward the shower, no hesitation turning it on not caring what temperature the water cascaded down my body, no only relax the tensed of my muscles was enough and perhaps my guiltless be washed away.
6:30 am. Checking the lock screen of my phone to see a sign of this man. Gripping it to only feel it crack enough as if it was its fault. Facing him is the only choice, I'm going fucking psycho leaving me no choice but to go to him in his class, maybe even fuck him at that moment not giving a fuck to how much he would want me to let him go. He has given me such a hard time, and deserves to feel what I do physically. Maybe or so just kiss him, the yearn for those lips I want to insult with my own.
Pulling up into the parking lot, that fills with many students whom if they don't fucking move I won't hesitate running them over for I only to get to Noah. The scowls and curses I received once I snatched at into a parking, feeling my stomach clenched once I gotten out walking toward the large building. Asking the front service lady behind the desk for a certain class knowing I wouldn't be walking around campus looking through each door ending up finding teachers fucking their own students, bringing back to the times as a chuckled emit from my limits.
"Uh... Edwards."
The gawking of her eyes narrowed intensely, nodding pointing toward the right hallway.
"Last one, I think he has someone in there at this moment."
Fucking perfect.
No thank you or shit as I scrambled into the hallway, bumping across couple of people only receiving scowls. Reaching the door as I stop to gaze through the glass window, there he was.
And. His wife? Fucking bitch.
Anger built through me, of course I forget the fact he is married and....straight. His body rested back against the desk, black vest hugging his body, white long sleeve button up shirt to only have the sleeves fold up to his elbows. The beauty of the man, I swear it looking like the most delicate thing I've ever came across to. Opening the door not caring, both of them gaze over at me. Meeting with the blue ice orbs, in surprised. Flashing him a smirk, seeing his jaw clenched as if he was angered.
"Baby. Dinner be later. nine, yes?" Her cheeks flushed. Bastard. Her cheeks being cupped into his hand as his lips attaching with hers.
He smiled tight before his lips meet hers, and god damn this angelic smile. And those lips, those rosy lips met hers. And I swear it, if I get stabbed in my heart it won't hurt me due to the anguish built inside me, his lips kissing her right in front of me, why do I want him so much, and at this moment, him, the way he felt when he saw me with Niall. My conscious speaks but I chuckle sarcastically to myself before I smirk slightly, chill lifts a tad as I adjust the limb in my throat. I am too arrogant. Maybe I want him, but I am sure I love myself more than I would ever love anything. I remind myself, or maybe I said this to ease the pain of him being completely heterosexual, and married. My gaze faced the ground tentatively before I look into Noah's eyes. I am the most arrogant professional actor I ever met. My eyes are as cold as ice. Expressionless, and I hope, I really hope my acting hid the flames behind my eyes. I walk towards the "couple".
" Professor, Edwards." I shake his hands in a complete normal way. But if he knew that my fingertips adored the way his skin felt against mine before I let go of his hand.
"Apologies if I interrupted something" There goes me pouring my counterfeited manners to his with a light fake smile. obviously, she hates my appearance, I can tell. like I give a slight of a fuck about her. Actually, I do! I care for my knuckles breaking her face, specially bleeding her lips, so she'd know the consequences for kissing him in front of me.
I turn to Noah.
"I have heard so much about you. Best professor in town, mm? I am here to offer you something. I am traveling in five months. immigration actually. If you accept to give me private lessons, I would pay you the number you name. But I need to speak Spanish as quick as possible. The job they offered me requires such."
I explain, then turn to his wife, which gave Noah a look of approval. I smiled, turning my focus on him, facing him meanwhile my back faced his wife. "like I said. Name the number you want.'" My side sinful painted upon my lips within a minute, an eyebrow raised cockily as I mouth, making sure his wife wouldn't see a thing. "Whore". I can see his lips pressing into a thin line. Anger. And fuck how much I enjoyed this.
I speak with confidant, ignoring that it's the time of their date.
" Tonight. 9 pm. I will give you the address, or would you rather me coming over?" Of course not. I answer for him, and chuckle to myself at the answer.
