The Great Pretender

The Sign

The next morning, it seemed like Jiyong really was determined to carry on as if the events of last night had never happened. He flitted about Seunghyun with forced joviality, smiling sunnily as he poured Seunghyun a cup of coffee, but looking pointedly away any time Seunghyun tried to catch his eye. Seunghyun wrapped his hands around his mug, glum.

Jiyong spent the whole of breakfast laughing with the others. When Seungri had made a joking remark about their "relationship," Jiyong's smile had frozen on his face. "Don't be silly, Maknae. You know that was all a joke."

It made Seunghyun feel even worse, all these barriers Jiyong kept erecting. Especially since he felt helpless in the face of them. At this point, he wished he could just take it all back, to make it so last night really had never happened. As much as he wanted Jiyong, nothing was worth losing his best friend.

But this attempt of Jiyong's to act normal wasn't going to work because it felt anything but normal. So Seunghyun went to Jiyong's room after breakfast hoping they could talk. Normally, he'd just let himself in, but he wasn't sure if he was welcome to do that anymore so he gave the door a soft knock.

"Come in," Jiyong called from the other side.

Seunghyun gently pushed the door open and then shut it again behind him. Jiyong was sitting at his desk with a pen poised over one of his notebooks. He didn't look entirely happy to see him.

"Hey," Seunghyun said, crossing the room with hesitant steps. He sank down onto Jiyong's bed. "Can we talk?"

Jiyong's face shuttered even further. He turned back toward his notebook, scribbling something onto the page. "About what?"

"You know what."

Jiyong's pen went still. "I thought we agreed nothing happened."

"But it did happen. And I —"

Jiyong cut him off. "We were drunk, okay? That's all. It happens."

Seunghyun's gut twisted. There was his answer. It hadn't meant anything to Jiyong, nothing more than a mix of hormones and alcohol and Seunghyun's convenient presence. "Okay," Seunghyun said, helpless, and started to rise back up.

Jiyong sighed, setting down his pen. "Wait." Seunghyun shifted back into his seat. Jiyong stared at him for a long time, worrying at his lip. He finally said, "I just don't know how to act now."

If they weren't going to be more, then Seunghyun at least wanted them to keep going as they were. He shrugged. "Just act normal."

Jiyong looked down and away. "I don't want you to take anything the wrong way."

That hurt. The confirmation that Jiyong didn't want Seunghyun to read too much into anything between them. "I won't," Seunghyun said. "Promise."

Jiyong shifted to face him better in his seat. He looked tiny in his chair, folded in on himself. "I like the way things are," he said. "I like how close we are. I don't want anything to change."

The situation suddenly felt all too familiar, like when he was still chubby and in high school and friend-zoned by all the girls who wanted to let him down easy. "Yeah," Seunghyun agreed, even though it hurt him. "Same here."

It stung, how relieved Jiyong looked at his words. Jiyong's lips pulled into a tentative smile as he rose up from his chair. He sat back down beside Seunghyun on the bed. It felt awkward even though they'd just agreed that it shouldn't be. There was space between them where there'd never been space before.

Seunghyun couldn't take it anymore. He slung a friendly arm around Jiyong's shoulders and pulled him in. "Relax," he said, jostling him a little. "We made out. So what? It was bound to happen, as much as we drink together. I won't be weird if you won't."