Goodnight Kyungsoo, I Love You.

Part 1/1

It all started with Kyungsoo and Jongin's bedtime routine. The two husbands would lie down in bed once it was getting late. Jongin usually only in his boxers, Kyungsoo in one of his many comfy pairs of fuzzy pajamas, or one of Jongin's shirts. Kyungsoo would be snuggled tight in Jongin's arms, head rested against his chest as he let his wide eyes fall shut. The two would always be drowsy, close to dozing off before they'd exchange their ritual last words of the night. "I love you Kyungsoo, goodnight," Jongin would whisper softly into the smaller male's ear. "I love you too Jongin, goodnight," Kyungsoo would always reply in a sleepy voice. And then the two would drift off in each other's arms, only to be woken hours later by the sunshine that spilled through their pink silk curtains.

But then things began to change a bit, as Jongin began to work late. His hours stretched longer and longer, and he found himself arriving home later and later. Kyungsoo, at first, had trouble sleeping without his husband by his side. But slowly he became accustomed to it. But still every night, once Kyungsoo became sleepy, he would dial Jongin's number. And Jongin would always answer with the same words. "I love you Kyungsoo, goodnight," He'd say softly into the phone, the sound of the rustling of paperwork occasionally heard in the background. "I love you too Jongin, goodnight," Kyungsoo would reply in a gentle, sleepy tone before he'd end the call and drift off into a peaceful slumber. And when the daylight shined through the curtains the next morning, Jongin was always lying right beside him, arms around him, snoring obnoxiously. And a smile always seemed to ease it's way across Kyungsoo's lips.

Soon, though, things began to change again. Whenever Kyungsoo would dial Jongin's number, there'd be no answer. Restless, Kyungsoo would sit up in bed, waiting and waiting for the call back from Jongin that always eventually came. These calls were different. There was always loud music, and the sounds of many voices in the background. But the call itself never changed. "I love you Kyungsoo, goodnight," Jongin would say, his tone just as gentle as it always was. "I love you too Jongin, goodnight," Kyungsoo would reply softly. Then the call would cut off, and Kyungsoo would slowly drift off to sleep. But when the sun shone through the curtains the next morning, Jongin wasn't there. And Kyungsoo grew to miss the male's obnoxious snoring. By afternoon, Jongin would always arrive at home, but he'd go straight to bed.

Things changed only once more. One night, Kyungsoo waited for Jongin's call back, but that call never came. Worried, Kyungsoo wasn't able to fall asleep until the near morning. When he woke up, Jongin wasn't there. But he did notice a small white folded piece of paper on the bedside table, and he opened it.

'Dear Soo,
I know that these past few months I've become distant, like a memory fading into the past. I know I haven't been there when I should've, I know that there shouldn't have been a single morning when you woke up without me by your side. But Soo I lost control of it all and I'm so sorry. I can't bare the thought of you lying in bed til the late dark hours of the night waiting for my call. You deserve so much better than someone like me. But I love you more than anything, anything in the whole world, and I really can't forgive myself for ever abandoning you like I did. It was wrong. But I just need to tell you, I love you Kyungsoo. Goodnight, for the very last time.'

"I love you too Jongin, goodnight."

And just a few quiet days later, the two husbands dull grey gravestones stood side by side.

Kim Jongin
1/14/94~8/29/15
Cause of Death: Suicide

Kim Kyungsoo
1/12/93~8/30/15
Cause of Death: A Broken Heart