Chapter 34

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I can't believe Harry found me. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad. I don't want to be alive, but here I am. After having my stomach pumped and a drip of some sort, they told me Harry can come back in now.

I feel terribly guilty after seeing how sad it made him. The fact I tried to end everything made him so sad.

Soon enough he's stood in my door way and his cheeks are tear stained.

"H-hey Haz," he gives me a weak smile but I can see the pain behind it.

"Hi," he sniffs and walks over to me. He takes a seat in the chair next to my bed.

"Harry we're not going to pretend I didn't try to kill myself," I say to get it out there. He takes in a deep breath and I can see that it's hurting him.

"I know," his voice so small, he's trying so hard not to cry. Blinking back his tears, looking everywhere but me, but they fall eventually and he breaks. Sobbing a little bit.

"I'm sorry," I say again and he shakes his head.

"It-it's okay," he says and harshly wipes away his tears. Seeing him cry is making me cry. Not going to lie, "I.. I should of asked you how you were instead of protecting you from James," he says to me and I don't know what to say.

"But.. I should of told you." I take a breath, "How I was feeling. I promised I would," Harry nods and sits back a bit in the chair.

"What did the doctor say? Are you okay?" He asks me and I think about what the doctor told me.

"He said that I should get some rest, remember to take my antidepressant and he said that if it wasn't for you I could be dead right now.." Harry's eyes fill with more tears, "you saved my life Haz," I whisper to him and he wipes away more tears.

"I-I saved your life? I'm s-sorry I practically choked you though," I give him a soft chuckle.

"It's alright.. you saved me didn't you? I'm still here," I smile at him softly and he gives me a small weak smile back. It's hit him harder than he probably ever thought it would.

He's still very much so crying. He keeps sniffing and wiping his eyes as he looks at the ground and cries. It's heart breaking really.

"Harry?" He looks up at me and wipes his never ending tears that seem to just stream down his face.

"Y-yeah?" He sniffs and I pat the bed. The spot next to me to he exact.

He gets up and sits down. I move a little to the right so he has some room on this bed. He leans back and puts his arm round me, it's so comforting. Why did I even try to escape this. To escape life?

"I love you," He whispers to me, "So much it hurt so bad to see you lying there, I had to help somehow, I didn't want to lose you like that, hell I don't want to lose you at all!" Harry speaks softly and I nod in agreement, I couldn't leave Harry this way, could I?

"I love you too Haz, I'll never forget when you first told me that, I wanted to cry with happiness," Harry chuckles a little and the first real smile forms on his hurt face.7

"I think you did," he chuckles softly and cuddles me, we lay there together until the doctors tell me I'm okay, thanks to Harry, and I can leave.

:-)

Harry lays me down on the couch when we get in and his step-mother comes over to me, sitting next to me as I feel so weak.

"Niall love, are you alright?" she asks softly but not in a stupid kind of way, she asks it as in other ways, like how am I actually feeling.

"No," I answer honestly. She gives me a sympathetic smile and gently strokes my hair out my face.

"Then tell Harry, he loves you and always will want to know if you're okay," I nod as Harry left? He brings me a glass of water and a biscuit as if he knew I was hungry. Mrs.Styles leaves us alone, nodding at me as an urge to tell Harry.

He helps me sit up and hands me the drink, I take most of it into my dehydrated body and he smiles at me kindly handing me a chocolate biscuit.

"Eat up baby, you'll need it to regain strength, how are you feeling?" he asks and now's a good time to say.

"Like shit, I don't want to be here at all," I say and he takes the ring I got him off his finger and holds it up.

"You know... when you said you forgot it was birthday, I felt a little down inside and when I opened my present from you, I couldn't believe you went out your way to get it for me, and," he pauses and places the ring on my finger, he looks me in the eye, "It made me fall in love with you even more," I smile widely as he kisses my forehead. I look down at where his eyes are too, the ring is on my ring finger.

"I promise one day there'll be a proper ring..." he takes the ring from my finger and points with his finger at where the ring was, "right there," I can't help my smile as he is just too cute.

Myrtal wanders in soon after as me and Harry had settled down and watched TV.

"Niall.. Harry, Marcel has been arrested, James is in hospital on the brink of death, due to Marc beating, and I quote Marc, the living daylights out of that prick, so yeah, that all happened!" Myrtal says rather out of her character and she smiles at me. She's been like a mother to me.

"Wow, so what now?" I ask and Harry just shrugs.

"Guess we are happy for the time being, I'll keep you safe," he kisses my temples softly before he continues, "I love you..."

:-)

So I guess that's it, I can't imagine Marcel in prison or James being fucked up by Marcel, infact, I can only really imagine Harry, at least he isn't a figment of my imagination, like everyone else, he is in fact very much real, just I don't really know him, I know who he is like, he's the Lord and Lady's son! In real life and my dream.

So as I stand in front of this mirror thinking of ways to come out to my mother, I have my hopes a dreams I guess. What's the worst that can happen?

"Hey mum..." I start and wish me luck.

-Harry-

That's it! The end of my trip in India, I've had such a brilliant time here, dreaming about what could happen when I get home, who's gonna be there, I have my hopes and dreams I guess. I get on the last train back home and wish me luck.

The End.

love you baes!

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