This is Me

2. My Disorder

If you haven't read my profile description, then it's a good thing I decided to put this here. Well, I probably should put it here anyway because it's part of who I am. BUT ENOUGH RAMBLING OF ME! (Le slaps self in the face) Ok I'm good now... But anyways:
I was born with a condition know as "Manic-Depressive Disorder" (MDD) It is basically where I get Manic (happy) or Depressed mood swings at random. I usually have to take medicine to help me from getting too depressed. Sometimes I take more than I should just to act like I'm a perfectly normal person in public. I really hate pretending and hiding things, I really do. But I have had times where when I show who I really am, I end up being an outcast. It happened in Elementary school, and I really hope it doesn't happen at Jr High now. They only people I've really told about my disorder is my friend (she knows who she is) and her friend, and thank god, they don't treat me any different. And I pray I don't run out of meds soon. Why? Because thats when I go "off the edge" sanity and normality wise. Seriously, the stuff that goes through my head when I go without my meds for too long is the kind of things I need to be left alone for a long time. It's like when Gamzee gets sober, and needs a slime pie.... Yes I am comparing myself to Homestuck. Why? Cuz Logic.
A lot of people on my deviantart already know this, but I doubt people from deviantart is gonna come and find this, so I'm just gonna tell Ya guys now.  STORY TIME!:
One day, 2 years ago, I was bored. Texting my friends, watching Markiplier and Reitanna Seishin, simple doodles. I was discussing about how I wanted to create a new character to join my personal charecters. So my friend says "Why not make a character about your disorder?" I thought for like 7 seconds and replied with "THATS GENIUS!" And when I met up with her in person the next day, I hugged her and gave her a basket of coco bunnies.
Good story, right? So your probably wondering, "what about the charecter?!" Calm down, I'm discussing that now. Well here it goes! *Insert "Introducing the Krabby Patty" here*
Note: this charecter is just a mere representation of my mental battles with my disorder. She is not at all a real entity or another voice I hear.
The charecter's name is Ydissac. (Picture of her at beginning) If you are smart, you will notice Ydissac is my name Spelled backwards. It's pronounced {YI-DI-SAK} she has black hair and red eyes and her skin has no pigment. Whatever I am wearing, she will wear a darker version of my clothes.
(Example:
Blue will be Red
White or Gray will be Black)
When I am manic, she will often be encouraging. She will say things like "Your a tough girl, you'll make it through! I belive so" she often talks really fast and tries to be innocent, although there is a bit of negativity hidden in her words. When I am depressed, she is the exact opposite. She talks real slow and convincing and this is often when I have to take my Meds. She say things like "your worthless. No one will care if your gone. Just look at yourself. You can stop your pain now you know." If she gets real bad, she will "possess" me (aka: when I go over the edge) she'll often make me hurt myself, or on rare occasions others I care about. The only way to make her go away is for me to take my meds, which then forces her to go back in my mind where she stays until she is able to come back out when I least expect it.

Now just let that allll sink in...
It sunk yet?
Good. I hopes its drowning in your mind.
This is probably one of the longest chapters in this thing.
Welp
ITS WORTH IT!
(Brofists IPhone)
Well, we should probably move on to the next chapter.
Ready?
Set
Pachooooooo!