A Girl's Heart

1. The Hug

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Jeremiah 17:9

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

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I watched my feet as I slowly made my way out of the church building and into the parking lot. My mind was whirring a mile a minute.

He hugged me. He asked if he could kiss me.

And I said no. Thank God I said no.

I wonder if he likes me? No, of course he likes me. Why would he ask to kiss me?

But he loves Lisa. He's going to marry her, right?

He probably thought I was Lisa.

But then why would he ask to kiss her?

She's his fiancée isn't she?

Maybe they don't kiss often. Maybe-

"Hey Beth!" I heard the familiar chirpy voice of my best friend, Lisa call above the volume of my tumbling thoughts and my heart dropped into the bottom of my stomach. Putting on a smile, I turned around to greet her.

"Hey, Li-li." She continued to walk towards me, and with that simple sentence, a frown graced her pretty, heart-shaped face. For a minute, I was worried that she knew what had happened, just by the look on my face, but within moments, I knew the real reason for the childish pout that she was wearing.

"Don't call me that!"

"Call you what?" I teased weakly as she stopped in front of me, her full, four foot, eleven-inch frame seeming much bigger, just from the sound of her voice. She let out a loud, obnoxious huff of breath at my question.

"Li-li. You sound like my mom."

"Well maybe it's because your mom has been teaching me how to deal with you."

"She wouldn't! The traitor!" she let out one of her signature, cackling laughs, and I smiled again before letting my gaze drop to my feet. There was a small pause when she'd shut up, before she un-shut herself.

"You coming today?" Lisa asked and I glanced up to see her excited expression. The look on her face made me feel even worse, but I forced an answer to come from my mouth, my tongue feeling thick in my mouth as I spoke.

"Of course!" I said with an extra chuckle and playful roll of my eyes for emphasis, "I mean, my family organized it, didn't they?" We had begun to walk apart from each other.

"I helped too!" she protested, but then winked at me with a cheesy grin, "Okay, God bless! See you soon!" and then flipping her black hair over one shoulder, she went to meet up with Eli, her fiancé. My heart sunk a little more, thudding louder when he turned to glance at me. The corners of his mouth curved upwards bashfully, and his cheeks blushed a deep shade of pink, before Lisa- unaware of our silent exchange- dragged him off towards his pick-up truck.

"Beth? Hey, piggy, let's go." I turned sharply to see my older brother, Jesse gesturing for me to get into his car so we could leave. I nodded and tugged my cello case along behind me towards his junky Honda Civic, and heaved it up into the trunk. I let Caleb (my brother's best friend) slam the back hatch shut, so I could finally slide into the backseat. As usual, the ride home was nothing short of amusing, as I listened to the loud, stupid banter of the two twenty-year-olds at the front. Usually, I would have joined in, but my mind was too numb from what had just happened at church to try to contribute.