Torn

Chapter 1

Amanda sits in front of her TV, awed at what it says.
"Former Manhattan Special Victim's Unit Detective Nick Amaro found dead in his home Tuesday night." Amanda gasps again at the television. "His funeral is this afternoon, Saturday, October 24. and is open to the public." Amanda sighs and opens up her closet doors, looking at all of her non-formal jeans and button-up shirts. She opens up her drawer, puts on white jeans and a black blouse, and walks out to her kitchen, heating up the cannoli she had from last night, rushingly eating it so that she can make the funeral. She looks out her window at a line of police cars all driving in a row down the street. She sighs, buttoning up her trench coat to face the damp air of Manhattan. She gets into her car, and follows the police officers to a church. She parks, and then feels her throat getting tight, and tears slowly drip down her face, faster than she can control. She walks inside, and sits right in the front, in front of his mahogany casket. She feels the presence of two people sitting next to her. She looks up, and sees Olivia and Fin, talking like she's invisible.
"It has been three years. They probably forgot about me." She murmurs to herself. She clears her throat.
"H-hi Sarge." She coughs out. Olivia turns around.
"Rollins...? Is that you?" She nods. Liv hugs her gently. "How have you been?" She shrugs. "I bet you miss Sonny." Confusion crosses her face.
"W-who is Sonny?" She stutters, trying to remember. The doors are opened, and an inmate walks in with a beard and orange uniform.
"Right there, Amanda." She squints, trying to remember. His eyes light up when he sees Amanda. Olivia nods at the other officer, and he releases his handcuffs. He runs up to Amanda.
"Amanda, I've missed you so much." He admires her face.
"Your hair got more blonde, eyes got more green- you became even more beautiful." She notices the ring on his finger.
"Sonny- Sonny Carisi-" she takes off the ring she was wearing.
"I forgot why I had this ring."
"Three years ago, I would have kissed him, and cried into his shoulder, wailing about how much I loved and missed him." She thinks to herself.
"I thought about you every single day." Sonny says, taking her into his arms. Amanda shakes her head.
"I didn't even recognize you. I thought we'd never meet again, so I tried and tried to forget about you. It worked successfully. I don't have feelings anymore. I don't think I ever will."