I looked at everyone, even Zayn. It felt like home, but i still felt that pain. Every time i looked at him i could feel the breaking of my heart and i felt regret. I almost cried in front of them, almost. I missed him so much, it took everything in me not to go over to him and hold him close again. Because we still were broken up. I stopped and sat in the chair farthest away from Zayn. He looked alot hotter than when he left, i'll give him that. He was really buff now, and his hair was styled different, i dont even know what it was but it fit him well.
"How long were you been in London?" Cheyanne asked Zayn. She sounded as if she was accusing him of something. i gave her a "back off" glance.
"Eh, not long. A few years i guess." Zayn smiled, getting on Cheyanne's nerves.
"Hm. Did you even go to college?" she asked accusingly again. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled.
"Yeah, i went for like a year but then i got the chance to go on The X Factor and so i switched over to online college. i just finished it up, i'll be graduating soon." He said that with pride. i looked up at him and smiled. he wasnt looking at me but it was good to look at him and see a different person. I knew Zayn could sing, he sang me to sleep every once and a while. he sang randomly some days too. i loved his voice. i just didnt know he would make it into something as big as One Direction.
"Thats good for you i guess. Katie went on online college so she could stay here in Wisconsin, i think we all know why, but of course not everything works. She graduated a couple days ago, isnt that right Katie?" Cheyanne said to me. She was annoyed...
"Um, yeah. Its nothing like graduating from highschool, all i got was a diploma thing in the mail and a certificate saying i graduated and i have a masters degree in nursing. It's nothing exciting Cheyanne." i was now annoyed. She put me on the spot on purpose. ugh.
"That is important." Zayn said quietly to me. i looked up at him. He looked sad. so sad. He gave me the puppy eyes and i wanted to cry, but i also wanted to go over there and just give him a big hug. i felt tears coming to my eyes.
"Yeah i guess. Can you excuse me? i'll be right back." i hopped of the chair and nearly ran into my bedroom. i shut the door and just sobbed into my hands. it was hard seeing him. I cant take this. Zayn was in my kitchen again, he was in my apartment with his friends, his band. He used to be my boyfriend, no, not my boyfriend, something so much more than that. i truly loved him and then he left. Just like that, right out of my life and now he wants to communicate. I felt someone rub my back. it scared me. i flinched but I kept my face in my hands.
"Don't cry anymore." he whispered.
"I miss him. I miss him to much. How could he just leave then come back unexpectedly like this." I was thinking out loud. He rubbed my back some more and then turned me around. I looked into Harry's eyes. Why was Harry in here? I was for sure he was Zayn.
"I don't know if this helps anything Katie, but Zayn did love you. It took him a while to get over you. I just-" I cut him off.
"Wait. You said he was still in love with me before I came out and talked to everyone. Now you are saying he is over me?" I asked suddenly not crying anymore. I didn't wait for an answer. I got up and paced around the room. Harry watched me still on his knees with his arms open from holding me. he looked worried.
"Of course, it makes total sense. He left, got over me, lived his life, probably got laid a couple times, had a few girlfriends, got a bunch of guys together and made a band, and sings all day. He had no time to think of me. So he got over me." I said that and didn't feel anything. No pain. Because it made sense. I couldn't hold him against that.
"He had fucking Yolo and all I did was mope around and sit online and talk to no one. How pathetic am I?" I said. I looked at Harry and laughed. he was looking at me with one eye brow up and his eyes were crossed.
"Okay, first of all you guys were in love and its harder usually for one person when people are in love than the other person. But like you said he did become famous and there was a lot of things on his mind... and he did move on. I'm starting to think that our conversation earlier should've never happen. But he was in a lot of pain before. I just kind of lied a little so you would come out of the living room." He looked worried. I smiled and sat by him.
"Thank you." I said. I meant it too. He helped me face the facts and I didn't feel sad anymore. I liked this feeling.
"For what?" he asked. I scooted closer to him and looked him in the eyes.
"For being my friend. You didn't exactly know who I was and you helped me anyway. I think I need to start living me life. How about you?" I asked him. I was excited almost. I could kiss him. but I wont.
"You need to know something about Zayn..." He said to me. he looked at me, he looked pained.
"What is it...?" I asked calmly. I grabbed his arm softly and he looked up at me.
"Zayn is engaged to be married." He said to me dropping his eyes. I didn't feel the tears but one ran down my cheek as Harry caught it before it fell.
"Oh." Is all I could say. Harry rubbed the back of my palm and tried to comfort me.
"She's a really nice girl... she and you could even be friends." he said. He thinks I'm upset because of him getting married?
"I'm sure she is. I am happy for him but I'm just upset he didn't tell me himself." and it was true. I was happy for him. He has met the one he wants to be with forever. But he didn't tell me. Instead one of his best friends tells me. I bend my head and place it on Harry's shoulder. I didn't even care, I hoped he didn't. I didn't cry but I felt down. not that Zayn has moved on but that everything is just going away. my life, my friends, and I don't even know my family anymore.
"He didn't know how to, Katie. I didn't know if I should tell you or not. but I figured before you said how you feel about him to know what was going on in his life." he whispered. he didn't mean any harm. so I wasn't mad.
"Thank you." I whispered. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. then I heard a knock on the door. I lifted my head and got up to open it. It was Zayn. I opened it farther and let him in.
"I will leave you to alone." Harry said. He nodded toward me and winked. I smiled. He shut the door behind him.
"Are you alright?" Zayn asked me.
"You have something big that you need to tell me about?" I asked pretending I didn't already know. He looked at me and I looked back at him. but this time I could do it with out feeling sad. I smiled, then giggled.
"You're getting married!" I said excited for him. he breathed with relief and laughed softly. He smiled at me and we fell into an awkward silence.
"I think we should go back out there..." Zayn said. I just noticed his voice again. He had an accent! i will never get over that. And his voice got a little deeper too, not much but it did.
"Yeah... let's go."
