Who she used to be

(1)Since that day

Dially
Then

"Oh, hey Dilly." She smiled, her bright teeth glistening. "It's Dially, actually." I squeaked, so quietly I would be surprised if she even heard me. "I was just wondering if you would hand out these invitations to my party. It's going to be so awesome!" She reached out some bright pink and blue envelopes, with big fancy bubble writing tracing the names for each of her guests. "Am I allowed to come?" I looked up to her freckled covered nose and striking eyes. "Well... No, but I'm  busy. And since you don't have any friends, I thought it would be a good idea for you to hand them out -give you something to do." Her bright teeth were soon covered by a smug smile. "Loser!" I looked behind me to see a number of people either trying not to laugh... Or not breathing from laughing so hard. Two types of people in the world; the ones that laugh at you to your face; and the ones that talk behind your back. "Look guys, she's crying! What a bloody baby!" I started wiping the tears I didn't even know were spilling. I felt like I was going to vomit, with my hands shaking and sweating violently.

I didn't know where I was going, all I did was follow my feet as I raced out of the group telling me I was useless. When I finally stopped in the girls bathroom, I turned on the tap. Running the cool water under my hands, splashing it on my face to rid the fact that I had just been crying. After awhile the spluttering had stopped, my heart race had reached to its regular state. I sat in the stall the rest of lunch; I was tempted to ignore going back to class entirely.

Seth
Then

"Seth! Why? Why, did you murder my sister!" "You fucker!" I didn't do that, did I? I really was to blame for all of this. "If you weren't a fucking asshole, this wouldn't of happened!" The words echoed in my brain like an annoying pop song stuck in you head. I looked down at my already shaking hands, tears forming in my sleep deprived eyes. I started pacing around the room. I am such a douchebag. I should have just put up with it. Goddamn it! I am such an idiot!  The guilt was bubbling inside me, like a bucket about to overflow. A horrible feeling of dread of my deed was eating away at the sanity I still had left. I attacked the wall, punching it with all my might, instantly feeling the pain rush down my arm, to my already slightly swelling knuckles. The pain felt like something I deserved, something to make me pay for what I did for a couple of long silent minutes.

I flipped my pillow once again; so the freshly cold side chilled my burning forehead. I twistered and turned in my sheets, trying to get comfortable for the 21st time in the past hour. I let my eyes close, feeling the urge to sleep finally overcome me.

"Seth, tell me you're joking, you're joking right?" She grabbed my wrist. I slowly released her slight grasp. "I'm sorry, but we just have to break up." I couldn't look her at her. She had make up running down here moist cheeks, her eyes shouting pain. "But why? Why, just tell me why!" She stammered, grabbing onto me again. "I have something really wrong -" "I don't care! You said we would never break up, that you loved me!" She yelled, terror in her sweet innocent face "You don't understand! I am so fucked up. I can't comprehend how-" I shouted and probed myself in the chest. "You said you loved me. Didn't you? I don't care about your 'problems'. I-" "It's over, get a bloody grip!" I interrupted; shouting. Instantly regretting my harsh words; She whimpered, releasing my captured arm. Through her long hair that was sticking to her face from her flood of fresh baby rivers, I could still see she was staring at me through cold mocha eyes. At last she ran off through the open door, slamming it with a giant bang, shattering my piece of mind.

Dially
Now

"That must have been so hard on you, I am so sorry." This was something I was used to; even after 3 years, I still got it. "Thank you for your concern, I really do appreciate it." I said, plastering on a fake smile. I know they meant well, but it made me feel like I had some giant blob in my life I couldn't quite concur -then again, I do. I was only half-listening to the women as she babbled about her niece having a similar dilemma. I watched the rain trickle down the shiny window, revealing fast cars and tall buildings. The rain only continued as I thought about the place I grew up in and the sad baggage that came with it. As the conversation with the elderly lady vanished. I felt a sigh of relief wash over me to get out of that tedious situation.