I love you

I love you. I can't tell you that now,

But I love you.

I love you more than anyone or anything could begin to comprehend. So don't ever doubt that. But I could never have you

Not now, not tomorrow, never.

This kills me inside but it's true. So I'll continue to love you, but you don't have to deal with any guilt of knowing I do. Because you won't ever know.

It's my secret, and one I plan to keep to the grave. One that I'll never utter a word about, not to you, not to my family, nobody.

Sad isn't it?

How one can love something they can't ever have, or can't ever be near again.

But when one whom doesn't love it as much as the other does can have it. It's like tearing ones soul to shreds. 

"Patience" They told me "good things come to those whom wait". I've waited all my life, and yet when I received you coming into my life, the only ever good thing to be in my life, I could not have you as mine.

You were there, right there in front of me, so close to me but far away enough that I could only catch glimpses of you,

And I could not touch you.

And so here I am,

Alone and broken hearted. Deeply In love with someone who could never love me back in the way I wished they would. Oh the dreams and plagued thoughts I have of you telling me that "Oh but I do love you too! I always have! I'll be forever yours if you're forever mine!"

But

I know this is not true. And again, I am left alone to rot in my misery.

And so I leave in the morning, to a new beginning in which I can hopefully learn to live without you, and hopefully you'll forget about me,

The awkward shy girl with so many friends surrounding her, but she feels so sad, so empty and worse of all, alone even with so many people.

The girl with the terrible secret, one which half of society rejects in fear of imbalance, and fear of the unknown.

I don't know why people have a problem with my secret,

If it isn't personally effecting you, why should it bother you? It's not like I'm going to touch you and BAM you're just like me.

What is my secret? You wonder. Why is she not telling me? What could possibly be so horrible that half of society rejects it?

Well,

I'll tell you

But most of you won't like it.

I am a awkward, shy, depressed girl,

Who is in love with her best friend,

Who is also a girl.

But with the fates as cruel as they are, my best friend isn't like me, and although she supports same sex marriage and attraction, she is straight.

Why was I born in the wrong body?

A female body?

Why could I not be a male,

So that I could date that beautiful girl,

With the kind eyes and a smile that could brighten up my day on the worse days?

The girl with the amazing talent, who spent years of practising, and helps to teach me how to become remotely as good as her.

Why was I cursed with this cruel fate?

Oh how many tears I've cried every night before I go to sleep at the thoughts of how I could never share the bed with her,

Or how I'll never wake up to a simple kiss with her beautiful voice saying "morning sunshine"

Never will that happen.

I could always change my gender, however it would still never happen. Either she'd know it's still me and would refuse to date me for the simple fact that I am her best friend,

Or if I never told her, she'd b sad that her best friend died, and I could never work out how to re-approach her, after knowing her for what seems like a lifetime. I would never be able to say that I know those long late nights where we stayed up all night texting and up till 1am on a Wednesday morning with school later that day.

Love is both a weird wonderful thing, like the love from a fairytale, where the girl gets her prince. Yet love is also tragic, like the love from Romeo and Juliet, where they both die in the end because they could not live without each other. 

And now I see the sun rising,

And it is now the beginning of my new journey.

Don't be sad,

You'll move on without me, and forget about me, with maybe the occasional thought here and there.

and eventually I'll move on, however I won't ever forget you. No matter how hard I try I could never. Even if I wanted to. You'll always be haunting the back of my mind.

The amazingly beautiful girl. The girl with the brightest smile and wonderful laugh. The girl with the most spectacular talent.

And without further delay,

I bid you adieu mon amour,

And know that I could never tell you

Je t'aime

Hope you guys enjoy it. Sorry it's very short and probably bad lol. I wrote this late at night and I don't even know.

Translations (French to English)

Adieu- goodbye
Mon amour- my love
Je t'aime- I love you