Some Rare Fanfics

1D

The boy band 'One Direction' only have 1 penis to share amongst each other, hence the term '1D'. It is believed they do indeed have a schedule to know when to put it to use. They share everything and now their schedule has changed due to Zayn Malik courageously leaving the boy band.

"Harry usually borrows it on Tuesdays and Saturdays", says Niall. " It's all very organized.

The band agreed to this and personally showed Jason Derulo, our camera man, their shared penis.

"It's so small", says Jason, " I could barely see it"

Because of this comment researchers and scientists took the penis in a duffel bag to an unknown laboratory somewhere in England. "It has amazing properties", commented the lab's main scientist, Big Sean. "Even though we had to look at it with a magnifying glass, it was a shock to us all. It has been the best thing since the first trip to the Moon"

But the bigger question is, what happens at home? Some of the crew will go and find out.

"Dammit, Niall, where is it? It was my turn today! I have a date!" Screamed Louis, searching frantically for it under the bed, behind the couch, under pillows and in cabinets. "Why did we have to pick it so damn small?!"

"Because it was the cheapest one" answered Liam. "Wouldn't want to waste any of the millions of dollars we have would we?"

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"So how does the system work?" Asked the interviewer, Michael Jackson.

"It's simple really. Harry has it on Tuesdays and Saturdays, I have it on Mondays and Fridays, which is really convenient. Liam on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and Louis on Sundays, he didn't want to be with it for more than one day." replied Niall.

"AOW!" Said Michael, "That's some good stuff. I also heard you guys made an ad for the penis company. Is that true?"

"Yes, it's true. Here, play it"

"STRAIGHT UP IS THE BEST PENIS SELLING COMPANY WE'VE EVER USED. PENISES EVERY SIZE AND SHAPE FOR THE BEST LOW PRICE, said Harry. WE DO HAVE TO INFORM THAT IT HAS CAUSED INFECTIONS, DIARRHEA, INFLAMMATION, SIGHT LOSS, COMA AND EVEN DEATH, Niall said smiling and waving at the camera. BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT. BUY IN THE NEXT 10 MINUTES AT 789-889-9288-8 TO RECEIVE ANOTHER PENIS 45% OFF. CALL NOW AND MAKE YOUR ORDER BEFORE IT'S GONE".

"That was amazing", says Michael, wiping away a single manly tear.

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The crew went to the Straight Up building to find out how and why they made those penises.

The CEO and Founder of the company, Misha Collins agreed to meet up with them.

"So", asked Michael, "how do you make the penises?"

"They are not actually made, they are donated. Our purpose is to full fill men's lives" answered Misha.

"Who's is 1 Direction's?" Asked Michael

"Donald Trump's. As he is such a dick himself, he doesn't need the real one so we just cut it off with scissors."

"That's truly amazing. Speaking of amazing, another one of our interviewers, Sherlock, is meeting up with amazingphil (Phil Lester-Howell, a famous youtuber and his hetero husband, danisnotonfire (Dan Howell-Lester)

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"First of all, tell us how you both feel about 1 Direction's penis" said Sherlock in the most boring tone he could.

"Well, we think it is absolutely marvelous" answered Phil

"Yeah, we were literally discussing that yesterday. We might get one ourselves too. Im really excited" added Dan.

"Thats great. Back to the studio with Crowley"

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"Well that was tonight's show. Hope you enjoyed and be sure to check out tomorrow's stories. They are even weirder. Goodnight everyone!"

A|N:

I know this doesn't even make sense but that is the point. Anyways, this was made with help from _Castielle & happy_andrea

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