Transtalia Oneshots

Help me please (Authors Note)

Hello :3

So school starts on the 8 of September for me, and I'm kind of freaking out, although I'm denying it so I don't have a panic attack.

I might've mentioned this before, honestly I can't remember, so I'll just say it again. I am a transboy, which is part of why most of the trans people in this book are trans men, because I relate to it and I can easily write about it.

I can out to my mom and my step dad a while ago. My step dad couldn't care less, although he'd said he'd never use my name or my pronouns, because it was too hard for him to get used to. My mom was supportive for two days, calling me by my pronouns and even suggesting that we find a new name. She even bought me a binder. Then she said it was a phase, that I was doing this for attention and that I was just trying to be different, which is totally not the case. A while back, I had told her I was questioning my gender and that I thought I might be nonbinary. She put me in therapy. Therapy isn't horrible, it just makes me feel like she's trying to "fix" me.

I haven't told my dad or my step mom yet, although I plan on changing that this year. My step mom will be going over seas and she wants me to write her. So I plan on writing her a letter to tell her, and depending on how she responds to it (which I think will be well) ask her how I should tell my dad. My dad is very stand offish, he doesn't speak very much. They knew about me thinking I was nonbinary, and my dad seemed to be okay with it, although he never said anything on it. He knows I'm bisexual, and that I have a gf (whom I love very much) and he doesn't seem to have any problems on it. I want to tell him bad, but my dad can be very intimidating and very scary. I'm afraid if he thinks bad of me then I could be put in danger. I'm afraid that I might not see him again or, even worse, he tries to do something drastic (like correction therapy and possibly abuse.) I don't want to tell him until I know for absolute sure that I will be safe doing so.

I wanted to come out to the school, but my mom didn't want me to, and neither did my therapist. My therapist said that I needed to tell my dad first, and once I do that, then I'll be ready to come out completely.

I've told a big group of friends, about ten or fifteen, about me as well.

As far as my transition goes, I pass pretty well when I wear my binder. I'm pre-everything, no hormones, no surgery. My hair is short. I pass well in my opinion but, I've only actually been properly gendered by one person, my four year old cousin. Although one of the biggest things for me is my voice. It's not too particularly high pitched, but you can definitely tell its a females.

So, my point for this crazy long note is to ask you wonderful reader whom are trans, nonbinary, as long as you aren't cis (unless you know someone who is one of the things I listed) for advice on how to survive highschool as a closeted transboy. Basically just ways to deal with the stress of being constantly misgendered, how to anwser someone who asks why I dress like a boy (terrified of this question), what to do if my binder shows, bathroom situations, ect.

I'm super nervous and I would love it if some of you wonderful people reading this story commented things to help.

LOVE YAS

- Cas