The Love I Always Wanted

Chapter 1: How it end up (Narrated)

This is a true to life story. A story where currently it was already over. But even though it ended and so painful right now, I decided to move on. And I dedicate this story to myself, to my past and to my future love. So that I can give him the message that there's still someone out there that would give me the love I've always wanted that he failed to gave me, to give me inspiration and hope that I would find that love soon and for the person out there, my destiny who I know will show me this kind of love someday. After all I still believe that happy ending still exist for me.
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Our love story started when we're in high school. I'm just a normal teenager girl as he was too. Pero sobrang magkaiba kame, sobra niyang bad boy at minsan pa nga troublemaker while me a quiet, shy and keeps a low profile dahil na rin hindi ako tulad ng iba na sikat sa campus namin. For short I don't have any self confidence kaya hindi ako nagpapasin.

Actually kilala ko na siya noon pang grade 6 pero hindi ko inakala na paglalaruan kame ng tadhana. Classmates kame hanggang nag second year highschool kame and that was the time na sa unang pagkakataon pinansin niya ako. Kinukulit niya ako and I realize that he was a nice person and at first wala akong ibang hiling kundi maging kaibigan lang siya pero unknown to me he became one of my crush. Autograph signing is very popular during our days and for the first time nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na isulat kung sino ang crush ko at siya iyon. After that incident mas lumala pa ang pangungulit niya sa akin and I can sense already that he has something for me. As a girl I wanted to make it sure kaya pinagselos ko siya and he did, after that hindi niya na ako pinansin hanggang grumadweyt kame. Pero kahit ganoon ang nangyari I've confirmed one thing. That he felt the same way as I do.

College life came and nawalan na din kame ng communication but we met again sooner that I thought at bumalik din ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya. Because of this fate mas lalo kameng naging close friends, we always bond and my feelings grew into something more and it was called love.

I'm happy to be in love with him and for two years I held it in, ang dami ring nangyari sa loob ng dalawang taon, I confess my love for him, we fight and make up, nagpaparamdam na din siya sakin and I always believe that he is also inlove with me. Pero sa mga ginawa kong pag amin ng pag ibig ko he rejected me thrice but still he won't let me go and I always wonder why.

Until during the 3rd year college of my life, the time when I came know how painful it is to know na pinaikot ka lang niya sa palad niya. He has a girlfriend, tinext ako nito thinking na kame ng boyfriend niya, sobra akong nasaktan mas lalo pa nung nalaman kong girlfriend niya din ang kaibigan ko and that on I think na dapat ihihinto ko na ang pagmamahal ko sa kaniya.

I tried to move on by having a boyfriend, he loves me so much and he swear na tutulungan niya akong makalimutan ang first love ko. Unfortunately our relationship didn't work out. Kasi mahal ko pa rin yung isa, pinili ko siya, hindi niya ako binitawan at naniwala ako na this time alam kong magkakatotoo na ang lahat. Especially dahil na din nagtapat na siya sakin. For the longest time of waiting, at last naging kame din.

I've never been happier in my life since he came. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagmamahal niya, he is very sweet to me at palagi kameng magkasama, he never leave any second without telling me how much he love me. At mas minahal ko pa siya lalo. Mahal na mahal ko siya and he promised na hindi niya ako iiwan ano man ang mangyari at ako na ang pipiliin niya para makasama habang buhay. And I believed in him.

Hanggang tumatagal ang pagsasama namin marami na kameng kinakaharap na problema. Selos, tampuhan, cool off at minsan break up. Pero naaayos namin kasi mahal na mahal namin ang isa't isa at ayaw namin dumating sa punto na mag hiwalay kame ng tuluyan. For eleven months ganyan ang ginagawa namin.

Until one day, a worst fight ever, nararamdaman ko nang nagbago siya, he doesn't treat me anymore the way he did nung bago pa lamang kame. And I grow sick and tired of it, nakikita ko nang nawala na ang lalakeng minahal ko, naglalaho na siya and all I can only do is cry kasi hindi ko magawang sabihin sa kaniya ng diretsahan kase takot ako na mawala siya.

Pero bigla ko nalang nasabi sa kaniya na maghiwalay nalang kame. Hindi ko na kinaya, pagod na ang isip at puso ko. To my surprise pumayag na din siya and it double the pain that I felt. Bumitiw na siya sa akin. I tried to fix it knowing na hindi talaga yun ang gusto ko, I just want him to realize his shortcomings and think of me. But he already gave up, hindi na niya ninais pang balikan ako, siguru din sawa na siya sa mga pinag gagawa ko. So we broke up for real, lahat nasayang, ang pagmamahal, ang inalagaan naming relasyon at ang mga pangako namin sa isa't isa.

The happy ending that I thought sa kaniya ko na mararanasan, nawala sa isang iglap dahil sa isang maliit na rason lamang. And that leaves us two brokenhearted. Especially me. Ang love story namin ay natuldukan na, no more other part, no series, just all in one shot. At ang masaklap tragedy pa ang the end.

And I realized how hard it is to move on when you're still so deep in love, but then I let him go, he don't have any reason anymore to stay with me as well as I am with him.