"THERE HE IS," Grace whispered to a turquoise bear who was her best friend.
"WHO? ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE HOT GUY STANDING BY THE LOCKERS? ISN'T HE THE ONE WH-."
"Shh! Oh my God, Anne. Could you be any louder?"
"Is that a challenge?" A wicked grin bloomed across Anne's fluffy face.
"God, no. Be quiet. But to answer your question, yes. That's him," Grace said, shaking her head. She loved her friend to pieces but sometimes she lacked finesse. Actually, knowing Anne, it wasn't finesse she lacked, but rather sympathy. She probably embarrassed Grace on purpose. She had a sick sense of humour that way.
"I still can't believe you kissed a senior," Anne whispered. Grace was grateful.
"Neither can I. But it was just a one-time thing. It's not like he actually likes me. I was a freshman. It was in the summer. It didn't mean anything."
"Why not?"
"Because he's Auota Milieg."
"Pfft, that's complete bullshit. He's not out of your league. Okay, he's good looking but that doesn't he's above you," Anne scoffed.
"No, you don't understand. That's his name-Auota Milieg."
Anne's eyes grew to the size of Kim Kardashian's ass.
"Holy shit! The Auota Milieg? The famous singing, acting, football-playing, vampire hunter? Since when did he go to our school?!"
"Since a minute ago. Didn't you get the notification on your phone?"
"I thought it was one of those trolls playing another prank on me!"
"Well, it doesn't matter. He probably doesn't even remember my name. In fact, he probably doesn't even remember we kissed." Grace didn't want to get her hopes up. She knew that a singing, acting, football-playing, vampire-hunting, human like Auota would never fall for a chartreuse unicorn like her. Maybe if she was fuchsia, but not chartreuse. No one likes chartreuse.
"Oh, yeah? Then why is he walking in this direction?"
"What?!" Grace spun around and saw Auota down on one knee in front of her. He was holding a box. When he opened it, a 62,583 carat diamond saddle with a gold lining was inside.
"Grace Fitzpatrick Karbunkle Smith, ever since I saw you I knew that I wanted to marry you. You are the one for me. I love you with my entire sexy heart," Auota rasped in his raspy voice that rasped raspily.
"Yes! 62,583 times yes!" Grace shrieked.
Auota placed the diamond saddle with gold lining on Grace's back.
"What did he say? I can't understand his accent. Hold on." Anne put it through Google translate.
"OMG! GRACE, YOU'RE ENGAGED!" Anne shrieked as well.
"Married, actually. I just had a priest come in when no one was looking and perform a ceremony," rasped Auota.
"Really?" said Grace. She was shocked. She was only 15 and already married.
"Yeah, and I also had sex with you. We have 2.5 kids."
"We what! What happened to the other point five?!" Grace ducked and looked at her stomach frantically. She didn't notice a baby bump. Behind her, however, was a bassinet with 2.5 humacorn babies.
"One of them is missing limbs," Auota replied, raspily.
"I can't translate this fast enough. What's happening? Could you ask him to speak English?" Anne asked, rapidly typing on her phone.
Grace turned around and saw the bassinet.
"We have children!" she screamed.
"That's what I said," raspily mumbled Auota.
"Holy crap! Grace, they have our friendship birthmark! Neon green hippos!" Anne was delighted.
"...What friendship birthmark? I don't have one," said Grace, confused.
There was a pause.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
THE END.
[This is dedicated to Ava aka sarcasticantics. Told you I'd do it.]
