Sophie is riding home with me today so my mom says we can go dress shopping tomorrow. And I don't resist.
We get in the car and buckle up. Me and Sophie like to sit in the back seat and text each other so no one can hear our conversations.
Guess who asked me to the dance?? I text her
Daniel??!!
Nope
Who??
Tanner
The new boy???
Uh huh
Wow
Yeah
That's great you excited?
Yep.
But you still wanna go with Daniel don't u??
Yes!! UGHHHH
Deep breaths it'll be ok.
I know. But I will get over it. I really like tanner anyways.
Good
Well arrive at sophies moms apartments so I promise to text her later and we drop her off.
Then I hear a Bing from my phone. I guess it's a delayed one from Sophie.
It's not.
We. Need. To. Talk the text is from Daniel.
Why I reply.
Meet me @ the tree when u get home. I noticed ur car isn't n the driveway
Ok fine stalker :) I type. We have a tree that sits right between both of out backyards in the forest behind our yards. We always meet there.
When we get home I head outside to the tree and he is already there. I climb into our small old tree house.
"The new kid?" He says as soon as I get in. CRAP he knows.
"What's wrong with him?" I ask.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"This is why," I groan. I sit across from him in the small wooden room.
He buries his head in his tan hands and groans.
"Why are you so mad? Aren't you going with Jasmine or someone?" I say almost angrily.
"No! Jasmine is my freaking tutor! That's why I said she us waiting for me yesterday! She tutors me before school every morning. She was late yesterday so she said we could study a little right before class and then after. Which is why I didn't text you," he looks out the hole in the wall used for a window.
"Oh," I am speechless.
"Yeah," he runs his hand through his spiked hair. It's a motion I'm so familiar with. Too familiar.
"You're the one who said we should just stay friends!" I exclaim.
He sighs loudly," that's why I need a tutor because I'm an idiot." He shakes head.
"No you're not you just make bad decisions," I say.
"Thanks " he says sarcastically.
"No problem," I reply.
"But really tanner? What do you even know about him?" He says.
"Like I know you that well," I say.
"What?" He raises his dark eyebrows,"you know everything about me!"
He's right. I know his favorite candy is snickers. I know that he eats his gummy worms in halves. I know that his favorite sport is actually baseball. I know his favorite kickin it character is Jerry. I know his favorite songs are "light em up," by fall out boy and "introducing me," by Nick Jonas. I know his favorite color is black and his middle name is Carson. But I would never admit that.
"Well you don't know me," I say.
"Skylar Hart is afraid of the ocean. She hates being in small spaces and loves to climb things. Anything. Her favorite food is popcorn and her favorite color is neon yellow. She acts shy around people she doesn't know but is outgoing to people she knows and cares about. She loves singing and acting. She us a night owl and hates mornings. She never cries and bottles up all her feelings. She loves easily and likes it. She lives reading and drawing. She is also very flexible but can't really dance. She likes the sound of acoustic guitars better than electric. Her favorite guitar note is G major because she says it sounds like love and she loves to put Capos on her guitar to make it sound higher. Her favorite slow song is the live acoustic version of free fallin sung by John Mayer. And her other favorite is superman by taylor swift. And she likes eating the middle of the Oreos first. And she likes to put her dairy queen blizzards in the freezer to make a popsicle. She loves going to places with no lights so she can look at stars and constellations. But her favorite city is new York because she loves the business and lights. I know you sky." He is close. His face is near mine. His brown eyes are staring into mine. I hear my heart. And I realize I don't want Tanner. All I want is these brown eyes. I hope it's all I ever want. I want to gear that voice ask me out. I want to hear that voice say I love you. I want to gear that voice yell at me and then tell me it's sorry. I want that voice to comfort me. And eventually I want that voice to be the one that says "I do," it may not be but I want it to be. Sometimes I forget what I want. But right now it's as clear as glass.
"I want you to know how bad I want to kiss you right now," he whispers.
"Then why don't you?" I ask.
"Because I'm no good for you," he refuses.
"I don't think you realize that I don't care," I admit.
"Well I do, I care about you, and that's why I can't let you fail for me," he explains.
"I also don't think you realize that you are too late! Atop trying to protect me from falling for you, Daniel! You can't! You're too late! You can't hurt me anymore than you already have!" I yell.
"Skylar you don't understand!" He exclaims angrily.
"No I don't understand! I don't understand why you push people away! I dont understand what's your so afraid of!" I scream.
"I'm afraid if me!" He screams. And the anger falls out of his eyes and there is only pain. Pain that I could never understand. He may have a great life family wise but I will never understand how much pain he goes through hating himself. I mean I sometimes pick on myself but he just can't stand himself. He's told me this and I never listened. Maybe I should hate myself.
"I'm afraid of how much pain I can cause people! I'm afraid of breaking people! I'm afraid of the monster I can be! And I don't want you to be in the way when I blow up and destroy everything close to me. That's why I can't let this go any further," he sighs and his dark eyes find the ground.
I lift up his chin,"Daniel I don't care! I don't think you realize that! I know you want to protect me but you can't!" I whisper harshly.
"Star I really like you, but I want you to go to that dance with tanner and move on," he says an I know he doesn't mean that. I can tell he is lying.
"Daniel I know you're lying, you don't want me to go with tanner in fact the thought of it makes you angry. An I know one more thing," I whisper.
"And what might that be?" He bites his lip.
"You told Tanner to ask me," he looks back at the floor.
"How did you know?" He mumbles and runs a hand through his hair.
"Daniel I know you really well too, and I don't know tanner, but I know he's a great actor. Which is one reason why you would chose him, also I hardly know him so why would he ask me out, and also I walked by his locker an he has pictures of a girl who I bet is his girlfriend all over it. And plus he's not my type anyways," is being jokingly.
"Dang it Sky! You're too good! You're like a Detective!" He laughs
"Whatever it was obvious. Wait then why did you freak out when I came over here about it if you set it up? " I questioned
"Hey I'm a good actor too! Plus I was a little mad that you said yes.." He fades out.
"I will never get you," I chuckle.
"So I'm guessing you aren't going with Tanner?" He adds.
"Nah," I shrug," Who are you going with?"
"Nobody," he mumbles.
"What?!" I say surprised," no one asked you?"
"A lot did I just said No," he says.
"Why?" I snap.
"I don't know," he lies
"Whatever there has to be a reason," I reply.
"Maybe I just didn't feel like it, or maybe the girl I liked couldn't go or something," he says quietly.
"Mmm hmm," I nodded.
"Skylar!" I heard my name being called from my house.
"Gotta go," I start to head towards the ladder.
"Bye," he waves.
And I run back to my house
