50 Days // Narry AU

Nialls Speech

Niall's Funeral Speech:

Harry Styles, was an amazing person. He was everything I had. Everything I want, and everything I need.  It's quite impossible to live without him, because as all of you here know: I was madly in love with that boy.

He was still young, age 21. And I feel like throwing up as I say this.

On September 13th, Harry Styles' life was taken, by a brutal accident, in which he was hit by a truck and a car. Yes, it was my birthday, and yes, I'm clearly still shaken up. I don't think I'll ever be okay with this.

Harry Styles deserves this life, this oxygen I'm breathing. Because he's a more better person than I'll ever be.

These years I've spent with him, were the only things attaching me with him, they made our love more strong, and gave us so much more to remember and love. And as I started to learn about him, I realised that I needed him more than he needed me. Or so I thought.

So I set up a small, okay not very small, travelling route. It went to a lot of places, such as New York, Italy, France. Las Vegas, Nevada. I think almost all the continents, I don't know. And I wondered whether he would follow me, as I went. And to each country, no matter how far, he still came, looking for me.

We were only half way through, and I think it was Greece or Japan, I don't remember, but that's when I knew that he really honestly loved me just as much.

And I went back to London, but I got in an accident involving my car colliding with another. I came out with a broken leg and a couple gashes and scratches. I was released from the hospital about twenty days I think, later. But I was especially upset because when I regained consciousness, Harry didn't come even once to meet me. A lot of people did, but I never saw him.

Turns out, he couldn't bear to see me in that state, which meant he actually was going to get more upset seeing me suffer. And I thought he was ignoring me, so I started the same, with not even looking at him.

But only a day or two later, I was sitting in my room, and I got this call. I didn't receive it for a while, but I did, and I still wish I hadn't.

If I remember right: I'm sure the nurse instead of telling me he got in an accident, she literally explained all the incredibly unfortunate things that happened to him.

And I wish my last words weren't 'I can't talk to you,' but 'I love you so much'

I just have to say this. If at this moment right now, you're mad at someone or being rude to someone, or whatever: Stop right now. Go to them and tell them you love them, because you never know when they might leave this world. You never know.

And I've read a few things he wrote to me. I found a small diary, he had been journalling in. He wrote about cutting, thinking of drowning, and even jumping out a window. He was already planning on leaving us all, but what happened wasn't what he wanted. It was what unexpectedly happened.

All were just occurrences. I couldn't have stopped them, but I could've always tried. If only he were still here with us.

I will forever regret my choices. I will forever want his existence with me, near me. I'm really sorry.

I apologise for my state.

And for my simple words to Harry: I love you Harry Styles, no matter where you are now or where you would've been, I still do. And I won't stop, even now that you have died.

*****

I just wanted to thank you for the amazing reads and comments. Especially @1dynasty

:)

No actually :

:')