The Heart Of A Dancer

CHAPTER 3

"Make sure you collect your homework and assignments for all your classes before you leave." The nun in front looked quite different from the others...she looked relaxed. It dawned on me then that she must be new at the school,for she didn't look like she expected the worse from the students when truthfully she should.
Making my way to the front of the class I relaxed once outside. It wasn't a hard class,etiquette to the nuns here was very important and they took the classes as seriously as they took the others. All I had to do was be perfect.

Smoothing down the pleats on my uniform I walked quickly to Hannah's classroom. I could hear him behind me but I walked faster trying to put distance between us and get separated by the crowd.
Hannah had her class at the end of the wing where three nuns tried their best with her. They were hell bent on trying to instil in her her lessons. The thing was that she was not a lady and that was a problem by itself here at saint Thomas Aquinas high where the best was expected of society's golden babies.
As I made it to the door Hannah came bounding out nearly taking me down with her as she escaped the nuns and their lectures for today. Straightening myself I saw Grayson smile at me before turning the corner on his right. I would have to talk to him sooner or later,but for now I will let myself believe I could put it off forever.

...they were so mean to me Ari". glad to have caught a bit of her little speech I smiled at Hannah allowing her chatter to take over my mind.
"Are they ever nice to you?" I was really curious. They may seem a bit too harsh but at times I noticed they care about us more than they let on. So if they were pushing Hannah so much it was because they saw something in her that made them care for her, either that or they actually are mean.
"I asked a few questions. Harmless ones...but they got upset. What do you think?"
"I think some things shouldn't be in  your head let alone leave your lips. But Its safer to leave it in your head. What do you think about that?"
Hannah sighed as if I was giving her a test before answering."I taught they would change a bit this year with how much they are expecting me to do. "
"I see, but like I said Something's you need to keep to yourself."
"And I told you already NO,it might become cancer if you keep it in."

I admire persons who speak what is on their mind and never worry if its the wrong thing to say. I remember my mother telling me at a young age that it is best to think before you speak and if you have nothing good to say it is best to say nothing at all. Her lessons and advice's were always helpful,even to this day I take her advice. But as I sat out in the parking lot I know deep down that the idea of doing things differently from time to time eats at me. But I also know its better to be safe. I needed to be safe.
I checked everything twice before finally pulling out of the parking lot and out on to the road. The road was packed with students at this hour, it allowed me to go over the few new ideas I wanted to add to the routine in my head.

Taking my time to get out of the car I locked the escalade before I made my way up the stairs. As soon as I walked in I locked the doors and made my way into the kitchen to prepare dinner. The house felt the same as it always did...big and lonely. Rolling my shoulders to ease the the tension I set off to gather the ingredients for dads favourite Italian pasta.

Continuous rapping on the front door made me cease dishing out my dinner to see who was there.
As the door swung open I wondered if I was in hell. That would be the only reason why the devil herself was tapping her Prada pumps on my steps. Plastering on a smile so fake it looked real I allowed her and her extra large Gucci bag to brush past me and into my home.
"Come in doctor Hale"
"Thank you miss Gallagher. Your parents insisted that an additional session was necessary every week."
Smiling again I excused myself to put away the dinner before leading her into a more relaxing room,one we used regularly for my home sessions. Once seated I turned to face doctor hale asking for her full attention.
"Dr hale, I told you before I no longer need your help. Why are you here?"
She smiled at me before she spoke and when she did it sounded as if it were to a child not me. It made me feel small but as quickly as I could I shut myself off once more from the world and straightened my back fixing my posture.
"You did say that. I think it is all your choice but your family is worried about you and believe its best to continue your therapy. And I agree with them,you need to continue your therapy for awhile longer."
It wasn't my family who wanted me in therapy, my dad and valentina maybe but not April so it didn't count as family it was only the two of them. Why would April care if I went to any of my sessions? Its hard to care for someone if you spent your entire life hating them.

As I made my way to my room after my session with Dr Hale I hear the door open and footsteps and laughter fill the house, making it come alive from their mere presence. It hurts -i lean against the door and clutch at my blouse trying to free myself from its tight hold-to know that I don't belong down there with them.I can feel my eyes burning, wanting to perform like a fountain and gush water. Pushing myself off the floor where I collapsed I stamp down everything trying to bubble free and move to my bed.Curling up into a ball on my California king I remind myself that it is not their fault that they no longer know me,can't reach me,think I am OK or unknowingly moved on without me. Its not their fault I am broken.

Swinging my legs off the bed I made my way to the door and locked it. I changed quickly and put my heeled boots in my bag as I made my way out onto the balcony and climbed over the rail dropping myself as quietly as possible onto Valentina's office balcony.

I could still hear them talking as their voices traveled through the open doors to me. They believed I was making a mistake and would ruin the show by adding Hannah. I let go of the rail and dropped once more, knowing that without a doubt that dad and Valentina didn't come up with that on their own,those thoughts belonged to april alone.

Falling down to the trampoline and making my way off and on to solid ground.I wasn't going to sit at home and drive myself to the brink of insanity, I kept my feelings locked away and letting it out now was a sure way to do that. Little by little I reminded myself for one morning was going to be better.

Unlocking the garage I made my way around the cars all the way to the back then maneuvering out once more I idled in front of the house for a few seconds before touching the remote and unlocking the gates. Pressing down on the gas I sped around the curves of the driveway and flew out the gates onto the road leaving behind me nothing but tire marks and dust to prove that I had indeed escaped. And what a glorious feeling it was to feel free.