Jaspar Oneshots

3 - The Hospital

Hi guys! I know I said I would update on Fridays but I had an idea I wanted to do and yeah I did. So this one is kinda very sad so I'm sorry :( I almost cried whilst writing it actually. Hope you like it and yeah, enjoy I guess! :( xx

Keys? Phone? Wallet?

Okay all three check.

It's the first time I've been out with the boys without Caspar for ages. It feels odd. He's out with some of his old school friends tonight so I thought I'd do the same. It's been too long since we've seen our friends since confirming our relationship. The thought that we're now official makes me smile and buzz with excitement and happiness.

Only problem is, I'm staying over at a mates house tonight and Caspar doesn't have any keys. I'll have to call him and make sure he knows to stay at Josh's tonight. Josh is always staying at ours so I'm sure he won't have an issue with Caspar bunking at his.

I pull out my phone from my pocket and stare at my lock screen. Someone once made a photoshop edit of Caspar and I kissing. I never thought that I'd have a real un photo shopped photo of us kissing as my lock screen. I want to kiss him now. I want to feel his skin against mine and our hearts thumping in unison and our breaths catching in our throats. Ergh. Why can't he be at home right now. Joe, focus. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and proceed to unlock the phone and dial Caspar's number.

*ring ring* *ring ring* *ring ring*

Hmm. That's odd. Caspar ALWAYS answers his phone on the second ring, no matter what. I begin to feel a slight trace of worry spread through me, but I press it down and reassure myself that he's probably in a club with loud music and can't hear is phone. I'll try again just incase.

*ring ring* *ring ring* *ring ring*

Shit. If he doesn't answer then he won't know to bunk at Josh's and he'll come home and not be able to get inside. The vision of my adorable, helpless boyfriend curled up in the cold on our doorstep not knowing where I am makes me want to cry. I'll ring Josh instead, he's got to answer.

*ring ring* *ring ring*

Josh: JOE!

Joe: Hey man, how's it goin. Is Caspar there?

Josh: Joe, I've been trying to call you for hours man

Joe: oh sorry, the connection isn't always great here and I've got a lot of appliances plugged in so that probably slowed it dow-

Josh: It doesn't matter! Joe, I have bad news

I freeze. Bad news. He's been calling me for hours. Caspar hasn't picked up. My hands begin to shake and sweat. No, Joe don't be ridiculous it's probably just Caspar's lost his phone or something. Don't panic.

Joe: What?

Josh: It's Caspar. He's been taken to hospital.

My heart stops beating. My chest aches. My mouth goes dry. My eyes begin to fill with tears. My baby. My poor poor baby is in hospital.

Joe: Wh...Wh...why?!

Josh: He was hit by a car when he came outside the club to call you. I'm sorry Joe.

I can't function. I don't know how to. I don't want to. I want to walk back to bed, fall asleep, and wake up in his arms knowing that it was all a horrible nightmare.

Josh: Joe. You need to get here now. I'm sorry, it's critical.

Critical. What does that mean. Is he dying. Is he going to die. My beautiful boy. My precious baby boy. The whole reason I live and breath on this planet. The reason I wake up every morning. The reason that I smile and laugh every single day, is dying. My baby.

Josh: Joe?

Joe: I'm on my way.

I shut the line off. My hand collapses to my side, the phone falls out and smashes on the floor. I don't care. I can get a new phone. I can replace that. I will never be able to replace Caspar. He can't die.

I'm senseless in the car. I'm senseless as I walk to the front desk of the hospital. Senseless as I walk into his room. Senseless until I see him. Laying in bed, covered in cuts and bruises. Hooked up to more machines than I've ever seen before. Eyes closed, oblivious to the world. My stomach drops, my heart aches. Tears cascade from my eyes like a waterfall, soaking my shirt. I'm frozen in the doorway to the room, just staring at him. His perfect little face all smashed up. His breaths so gentle. He's so helpless. Just laying there.
I need to feel his heartbeat, to hold his hand, to hold him in my arms forever.

"My baby" the only words that can escape my lips are whispers.

"My poor poor baby" Suddenly the realisation hits me. Every breath he takes, could be his last. If I don't hold him now, I may never get the chance again.

I run to his side, I caress his frail body in my arms. He's so weak. I sob heavily into his shoulder. Looking up to see my beautiful boys face, I can just make out his closed eyes amongst the horrendous mass of bruises and blood. I part the hair on his forehead gently, being careful not to touch any wounds. Slowly I lean over him, I hear his breaths and see his chest rise and fall, but I know he doesn't know I'm here, it's heartbreaking. I place my lips to his forehead as softly as possible. His skin is so cold.

"Joe Sugg?" A young nurse with brown hair and eyes enters the room holding a clipboard.

"Yes" I mutter the word. I don't take my eyes off of Caspar. I can't.

"I'm sorry sir. You may want to say goodbye. We don't think he'll make it through the night" She lowers her head in respect and leaves silently, leaving me with my boy.

He's going to die. I'll never see him again. Never hear his out of tune and out of time singing. Never see his gorgeous face ever again. Never touch his soft skin. His beautiful skin. Never feel his heartbeat or his voice.

I lean in close to his ear, tears streaming down my face.

I take a shaky breath and whisper:

"I love you Caspar. And I'm so glad the world knew how much you mean to you me"

I can't say anything else as my body is wracked with uncontrollable sobs. I can't stand the thought of loosing him. I can't.

I lay by his side with my head buried in his shoulder. I need to kiss him. I stand slowly and look at him one last time. Removing the oxygen mask, I lower myself down and place my lips lightly on his. The last kiss we'll ever have and he doesn't even know it. I let my lips linger there a moment longer before breaking the connection between our bodies. I stand over him for a while. Just taking in ever detail of his face.

Slowly his lips part and I hear him wheeze.

"I...love...you...too...Joe"

And then he's gone. And my whole world is torn apart.