The Heart Rate of a Mouse (Larry)

Chapter 10: If He Can Feel My Heart

"Louis! Would you just wait up?!"

I ignore the request and keep heading down the street. Two blocks isn't far enough from that house, three blocks isn't enough.

"Okay, you're mad! I get that!"

Mad? Liam thinks I'm mad? I'm leaving in an attempt not to goddamn kill him, but no, now he is concerned, now he wants to talk.

Liam finally catches up with me, blocking my way. I round him, but he only blocks me again, now taking a hold of my shoulders. I snap free and punch him, my fist flying forward on its own accord, my knuckles hitting his jaw. It's a lousy punch, but I wince and protectively pull my hand back. Liam is holding his jaw with a pained expression. "Fuck, man! Was that necessary?!" He looks up at me, meets my gaze, and instantly adds, "That was necessary." I try to get past him again, but he stops me. "Let me explain, would you? It's not what you think it is!"

"So you haven't married Danielle behind our backs? You don't have a fucking kid with her?!" I ask pointedly.

"So maybe it is what you think it is."

"Fuck you! You know that? Fuck you!" I snap, spotting a taxi coming down the street and hailing it over. It drives past me. I swear more, going through my pockets hastily. Liam offers me a cigarette, and I snatch it, bringing it to my lips hastily.

I light it as Liam whispers, "I'm sorry." He looks sorry. He sounds sorry too, but it's not good enough.

"You've had all this time to tell me, but you haven't. Instead, you've lied. Constantly. To my face," I recap furiously, not sure what pisses me off the most. The betrayal. The wife. The kid? Lying to the band, lying to me. I'm his best friend. I thought I was. "I knew something was up, but I never," I snarl.

I thought they broke up months ago, last goddamn year. Months of lying? It sickens me. He's an actor, nothing more.

"I had no choice," Liam hurries to say, and my hand curls into a fist again, wanting to take another hit. Had no choice? No one forced him. Whatever decisions he made, he made them willingly.

And a kid is for life. What was he thinking? Was he thinking? Liam's not in my world like I thought. All this time he has been living here instead, down the road in that shitty house with that slice of picket fence America, a wife and kid and a handful of values that would never survive in my world.

I lost my best friend months ago and didn't even know.

Another taxi is coming down the street, and it slows down as I hail it over. "Look, let's talk about this!" Liamsays hurriedly.

"We've got a show in an hour. I don't have time to talk about it; I only came to get you." The car stops in front of me, and I open the back door. Liam is looking over his shoulder worriedly. "Oh my god," I whisper, closing my eyes and trying to calm down. "You go say goodbye. I'll wait in the car. Two minutes."

"Okay," Liam mutters, probably realising that he shouldn't argue with me right now.

I try not to look to the door of the house when Liam comes out, but I do, anyway. Danielle there, the picture perfect wife holding a baby. That baby can't even be a month old. Liam kisses them both before he jogs to the taxi, knowing the schedule we're on. Dani waves. I don't wave back.

We take off. I'm too angry to speak, so I focus on grinding my teeth together and staring into the distance. Liam sighs once, maybe trying to get my attention. He sighs again, louder. Finally, he says, "I didn't want you to find out like this."

"No, no - You didn't want me to find out. Period."

"Because I knew you'd react like this!"

"Don't! Don't turn this around and make it my fucking problem!" I growl, and the taxi driver starts eyeing us through the rear-view mirror with a worried expression. I don't plan to bleed on his backseat. "How old is it?" Liam lifts an eyebrow, and I hiss, "The baby."