eating disorder (jb imagine)

Me and Justin has been friends since we where in diapers. We were always there for each other, tell each other secrets.  

But, there is a one secret I haven't told him, and I have decided to not tell him about it. Because I'm afraid... I don't how he will react. You see, the secret is that I have this eating disorder anorexia and nobody knows about that, not even my parents. I have anorexia since I was 16 and now I'm 18, Justin is 19 so he's one year older than me, but who cares. Actually i have another secret hiding from him too, and that is that I have a crush on Justin since I where 15 and he 16. I love him, but he doens't like someone like me, I'm fat, ugly, he could pick any girl he want except me... But as long I have him as a friend I'm happy that.

"Annie, Justin is here!" I heard my mom said "just send him in up!" I said back as I was on my way to The bathroom. " Annie? Are you here" "yes, I'm in the bathroom, just stay where you are, I'll be right back" I answered him. And i kept on with the make-up.

As I was down, I opened the bathroomdoor and in to my room, where Justin sat on my bed, hansome as always. Shut up Annie, he's just a friend, argh stupid feeling, why do I have to have feeling for him?? But he was so perfect, I mean, his smile, his beautiful hazel eyes shinning like stars, and his hair, brown and so soft. Perfect!

" Hey Jay, what up? " I said and sat down beside him, and smile and admired his looks, gash, so hot. Keep your self together, Annie! I though to myself. "Well, I was going to ask of you and your mom wanted to come over to my and moms house and eat dinner with us, later. It was moms idea" he said shy and chuckled, so cute. " sure, I will go down, and tell mom, be right back" I said as I walk out of door.

Me and Justin was watching movie right now, since it was still 2 hours till the dinner was ready, and yes, we where at Justin's house now, in his room, laying in his bed and watched 21 Jump Street " with Channing Tatum, he's so hot! Omg!  

" Channing is so hot!" I said as i watched on the tv screen. " yeah, right" I heard Justin mumbled. But still was Justin the most hottest boy in world!

As the movie was done, the dinner was done. So now we were sitting around the table and was about to eat. I was nervous. It was chicken tandoori, and i felt my stomach twisted in nausea. I wanted to vomit.  

" Annie, aren't you hungry" I heard Pattie said, I turned my head to Pattie and smiled, fake. I felt horrible to not eat Pattie's food. " no, it's not that" i said fast and smiled fake, again. I took up my fork and took a bite of The chicken and put it in my mouth and started to chew. Now I even felt worse, I was determined that I was going to vomit right after this. I didn't want Pattie to think I didn't like her food. So after half an hour the dish was empty. I felt sick, I felt I must vomit soon. Gosh, I hate this.

I decided to go to The bathroom and take the guilty feeling I felt everytime I have eaten anything. " Would you excuse me, I have to go to the restroom" I said as I stod up from the chair " sure honey, take your time" Pattie said and smiled, I see where Justin have his smile from.  

I said thanks and hurried to The bathroom and walked in and locked The door. I bent down and took two fongers down my thoath. As i thrown up I felt my feet shaking, so i sat down on the floor and breath heavy as was down. I felt so tired, I just wanted to go home. After been ten minutes in The bathroom, I walked down the stairs and met Justin bottom of the stairs and look up at me, I felt my heart started to pound fast and hard, as it almost hurt. He's started to smile and said "What took so long?" As he walk up to me and looked at me and smiled his perfect charming smile. " I-I don't feel so good, I think I go home" i said and looked down, didn't want to see in his eyes. " Are you okey, love" he said and holding around waist, oh no, I felt my cheeks turned warm. " Justin, I will just go home and go to sleep, I'll be better tomorrow, okey? I'll be fine" I said and looked in his eyes. Oh no, i felt my eyes started to fill with tears, so I walked out of his grip and shaked my head, and walk past him. But then I felt Justin took my hand " Annie, talk to me. What's the matter with you?" He asked concerned. He turn me around so I was facing him. I was staring at the floor. " look at me" he said, but I didn't, I didn't want to.