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Posted at: 11:32 am
Mood: numb
Listening to: Hush - Juliet Simms
The colour of murder is black, shades of charcoal or even a deep black-red she thinks.
Black is my soul, my soul is full of murder itself.
'You colour my eyes red. Your loves not alive, it's dead'
My earphones are always in, people think I'm rude but I completely disagree. Music drowns out some of the numbness or the boredom of this world.
Some are destined to die, some are destined to be killed and some are simply destined to kill others. I am destined to kill others. Murder isn't easy, I may say so myself. Murder is a maze of trouble or difficulty. You have to do everything right or you will be caught, nowadays our technology has become some kind of alienated source. Amazing, interesting but way out of the human race' league.
We've only started experimenting with technology not long ago and now we have so much technology that forensic evidence is easy to find and we all know that it's just going to get easier to be caught in crimes.
I'm only thirteen and I've been in and out of different groups which were supposed to help me cope, the groups are fun but nobody understands me completely. They think I'm suffering but seriously all I want to do is kill. A first murder is like the first time of sex, art or writing a story. Completely embarrassing, terrible and even disastrous.
This is why I have everything planned, I will kill like a ninja in the shadows.
The alarm goes off.
11:49 am
Weekends, this is okay. I normally sleep more.
The alarm keeps going off and it rings inside my head, causing me to sluggishly get out of bed and turn it off.
"Honey, breakfast is ready" my mothers stoney but soothing voice calls out.
"Coming, Ma!" Ma.. That single word disgusts me. It sounds like shit in a bottle, disgusting.
I walk down the cold wooden stairs and I feel really light headed - almost like I was flying.
I practically stumble down the last few and clutched my head as I walk to the table.
"Take your medicine before breakfast" her squeaky, mousy voice says.
"Yes Ma" I wish I could snap her neck and watch her lifeless body fall to the ground. I'm pretty sure she's in the room next to the dining room - the lounge room.
I get my handful of mixed tablets; anti-depressants, anxiety tablets, headache tablets and my vitamins. I put them all into my mouth and get the glass of water off the table and gulp it down. The tablets all together taste like cow shit.
I sit down and pick at the almost over cooked, dry pancakes with my fork. My eyebrows furrow and I start to feel sick in the stomach.
The song changes to ghosts - mayday parade.
'There's a ghost in my bedroom, it haunts me at night. I told him to leave but they keep stopping by'
My mother walks out, her frame nearly straight as a mans, her skinny face looks witch-like and her fake fingernails painted red.
"Are you going to eat?" She asks as she walks over. Her disgusting lips touch my forehead and all I could imagine was sloppy, green slugs touching me and I feel my face go paler.
I'm normally really pale so I don't think it'll make a difference.
"No, I'm feeling quite sick Ma"
"Go lay back down then," bitch don't even talk to me like I'm five! "It'll be best"
"Yes Ma" I get up and I start walking to the stairs. I know if I fall while going up these stairs that she will sit next to my bed for hours, days or even weeks just to make sure I'm okay.
She's so annoying, her death will be the only happiness that I would ever get.
Comments:
Xteenfoctionx: wow, you are such a good writer. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Reply: thank you, I don't do it for others only for myself. Kind of like a dairy.
Bunnykiller: this sounds like a real diary, it's so intense.
Reply: kay
Marcusd: (deleted comment)
Prettylittlescars: so relatable
Reply: ...
