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Prologue

Have anyone ever make you think that you are a threat to society or the world that u are only born to just take space in the world.
You take shelter on music or arts as a way of distracting your to forget about other or how the worlds thinks of you.
And what happens they call you a freak ,satanic, good for nothing that the words you speak wont reach anyone and they are just gone with the wind just like the time.
You try talking to others about your problems o whats going inside that head of yours but you dont just because you think you might scare them away by just being your self.
My way of scaping this crappy world is just by reading,playing soccer and listening to music.if you make a little mistake on soccer everybody just talks sh*t about you and how you can't do anything right and all you do is screw thing up.
Everyone has their type of music they listen to like : Pop,jazz,hip hop ,rap,etc nobody judges anyone for their taste in music but you just say you like rock,post hardcore,metal and all that kind of stuff (bands related)what they do: call you son of the devil ,that you are satanic,that you will never go to heaven,there he is listening his song about the devil,oh hes calling the devil.
There comes the bullying that never ends in this f**king sick world we try our best but they just try to take you down not knowing they are the people who are making of this beatiful world like this into such a living hell just because we are not like them,cause we dont listen to their raps about people having sex,money or drugs like them because we dont go dressing up like we were in linage(underwear)just to provoke men into noticing us because of how the look or how they exhibit their bodies.
Most just to end their suffering on this living hell we call earth end their lives if you die you were the best person ever everyone loved you and the loved being around you well guess what bullshit most of them are who made you on thinking all those stuff that made you taking that decision after a while comes the e was such a coward and stuff like that but take a second to think try it killing your self....you couldnt right you just cant do it that proves that the people who make those decisions are not cowards.
We try talking to adults but what happens they just go and say is that the problem is all in your mind and they dont notice that they dont really help the just make things worst and all we do is hide it with a smile or just lock our selfs in the room which we can call our shelter.

Some of us just take our pain out with our bodies like our wrists and legs and just hide it with a pair of jeans , a nice scarf or bracelets to cover our wound and you find that perso who doesnt care if you cut,like rock music or likes confining himself/herself in the room what they do stay there no matter what if you close the door of your room in their noses the will just take a seat next to it waiting for you to calm down and making shure you dont hurt your self anymore people like those will make this living hell such a nice heaven so if you do find someone like that dont let go of him or her there is not much people like that who wont judge you or stab you in the back like most of the so call "friends" who just like taking you down and see you crawling away to try and stand up.

When you do crazy stuff and just think the world is better without me well guess what thats not true their is someone out there who you really cares about you.
You might not know it since you lock yourself up,you may say i do it just to protect myself from people who are trying to hurt me and yeah its have its good and bad points :
Good points
*you may know who your real friends are/want to be
*people will stop trying and will leave you alone like you want

Bad points
*some might just pick on you because of what you do or start hating you.
*parents talk that really doesnt help at all just make thing worst.