Project Smile

Three

It's been over twenty-four hours since the last time I saw Gabriel, and I'm worried. It's not like him to just skip class completely. Sure, he might miss class every once in a while to go somewhere, but he won't tell us where. The next day, he'll be back, and everything will be normal. But it's never been in the morning.

   I really need to stop thinking about Gabriel. But I can't.

   He's too much like somebody that I used to know. Somebody that I used to be in love with.

   And he's close enough to me for me to consider him one of my friends. I'm not going to not worry if he disappears.

   I'm just hoping and praying that he's not going to do what Zachary did.

   A hand is suddenly in front of my face, and I look up to see Pete looking at me with concern. "Are you okay, Cass?"

   "Yeah, I'm fine." I continue pushing my food around with my fork, not in the mood to eat. The conversation picks up again, but I can feel Pete's gaze still on me. "I'm telling the truth. I'm fine." His hazel eyes are not moving from my face. "Peter. I am fine."

   "You're not acting like you're fine," he says. There's a hint of sadness in his voice, and that's when I remember what today is. He looks back down at his salad, stabbing a piece of lettuce with his fork. He doesn't eat it, though. Instead, he keeps impaling the limp leaves, biting his lip so hard that I'm afraid that he'll draw blood.

   I grab his hand gently and take the fork from his tightened grasp, which has turned his knuckles white. It takes a few pulls to make him let go, but he finally does. "I should be the one asking you that," I murmur quietly to him. He takes in a shaky breath. "Are you okay?"

   "This is the exact time. And I literally just forgot until now." He places his head in his hands. "I'm such an awful person."

   "No, Pete, you're not. And he wouldn't want your day to be ruined." I pat him on the back, then begin rubbing small circles on his shoulder with my hand.

   "I honestly need to know if you're okay, Cass. You're the one who..." He doesn't finish the sentence, leaving it open-ended. There are literally about a thousand ways he could finish it.

   "I'm not feeling the best, but I'll make it through today," I admit.

   "We could just skip the last few classes," he suggests quietly. This would normally surprise me, but it doesn't today. Pete only ever skips if he's feeling so bad that he can't make it through the day. These days are few and far between, but they happen.

   "I'll cover for you, if you want to go," I say. He has the easier teachers in the afternoon, so I can just come up with an easy excuse. I could tell them that he threw up or something and they would excuse the absence, no calls to the office or anything for verification. Which is why they're also my favorites.

   "You could come with me," he suggests, looking up at me. "It's Friday, so we won't have much to catch up on."

   "I'll stay. But go, Pete, if you really need it." He just shakes his head.

   "I think I can make it through the day." But by the look on his face, I'm not convinced that it's true. I wrap my free arm around him, both in a comforting and protective gesture.

   "Do you want to go to the game tonight? Because I'll actually go with you tonight if you really want to go." I say it not because I want to go, but because I know that it's a way to get his mind off of Zachary. And it'll be a way for me to stop freaking out about Gabriel for a few hours.

   "I'm not sure if I'd want to go," says Pete, looking back down at the table. "Mom would probably want me to be at home and---"

   "Your mom is fine with it, remember? And it'll be okay. Zach would want you to continue to live your life, Pete. He wouldn't want you to just stop being happy." Pete nods, and I see that his eyes are watering a little. I turn to Erin and ask, "Do you mind taking our trays up? We're going to step out into the hallway for a moment." She nods, and I thank her before taking Pete's hand and leading him out into the hallway, in front of our lockers.