Imagines

Leaving The Past Behind

*Warning: This Imagine contains self-harm and possibly foul language that may be triggering or offending to some. Please continue reading at your own risk.*

I searched through my old dresser, desperately trying to find my stash of razors. It had been 3 years since I had last been in this room, my bedroom at my parents house, and the only reason I came back to this horrid house was because my boyfriend of 2 years, Liam, insisted on meeting my family. We had gotten here less than 2 hours ago, and Liam had been a complete gentleman when meeting my repulsive family that consisted of my slut of a sister, douchebag of a brother, and snobby, stuck up parents. When I had called my mother, she acted like she was ecstatic to hear from me after I ran away to London when I turned 16. But I knew the truth. She had seen the papers and interviews that had mentioned mine and Liam's relationship, and she wanted to be known as the possibly future-mother-in-law of one of the world's greatest musical artist in the modern day. Greedy bitch. So, when we all sat down for dinner, it didn't surprise me that she had pulled out all the stops.

The most expensive China and Silver, candles, lace napkins, and she had even hired a caterer, although she told Liam she cooked it all. When we sat down, my sister and mother had sat on either side of Liam, my sister flirting relentlessly and my mother being her charming, manipulative self. I was forced to sit across the table from him, next to my brother, who smelled of booze and dope. We started eating dinner, and I made sure to fill up my plate with food so that Liam wouldn't think that I was starving myself again, like I had been when I met him.

"Ew, Mia. That's a lot of food. Do you really think you should be eating that much? You're looking a bit... thick," my sister commented, sneering at me. I looked up at her, then to everyone around the table. My mother acted disgusted at my siblings words and scolded her about how to speak to me,

"But darling, she isn't completely wrong. That is a lot of food and you are looking a bit heavy," she quickly added after "scolding" my sister. I looked down at myself, my stomach that had just recently flattened out after being too far into itself and my entire lower form that had only just filled out so that I wasn't only skin and bones. I was too thin to be called skinny and I knew I wasn't fat in any way, but I began to believe them again, the lies my family had burned into my head for years. That was until my eyes locked with Liam's beautiful brown ones. He gave me strength and the look he was giving me let me know that he didn't agree with them and wasn't buying into their bullshit facades. So I ignored their words and began eating. I had only swallowed one bite of potatoes when my sister spoke up again.

"So, Liam, what do you see in Mia?" I put my fork down, having lost my appetite at hearing her revolting, bitchy voice.

"Excuse me?" Liam politely asked her, not understanding what she meant.

"Why do you like our sister?" My brother spoke up. "She's nothing great. She's ugly, short, stupid, and not to mention a complete slut." With every word he spoke, I flinched as if someone was stabbing me. Those words hurt, even after hearing them since I was 9. My eyes burned with tears as I starred down at the plate of food in front of me. "You know," he started again, "when she was 12, she snuck off with half the football team after a game. Fucked them all," he said," at the same time," he finished with a smirk. My eyes stung more as I listened to to lies about me that he used to tell his stoner friends.

"Now, that's enough," my father's deep, authorative voice boomed, "I doubt that this young man wants to hear about her mistakes." My day brightened slightly as I listened to my dad, thinking he was going to stand up for me, even if it was still about lies. "He doesn't want to know what she was up to before they met." I smiled a little, Happy he had just been nice to me. That was before I heard him add something under his breath. "The worthless bitch probably does the same for him," he said. I looked at him and felt the tears spill over.

I quickly stood up and ran out of the room and along the familiar path to my room that I had took during so many dinners just like this one. And that brings me to now, searching my old hiding spots for a razor. I hadn't brought any since I didn't want Liam to find out that I cut myself. He knew so much about me that was wrong and damaged, but I was afraid that if he knew that I harmed myself this way that he would hate me. So here I was, crying my eyes out and looking for just one razor. I finally found the baggie of homemade razors I had when I first started cutting. Scraps of blades taken from shaving razors and hair clippers, broken pieces of metal from knifes that fell down the garbage disposal, and sharpened metal from various objects I found in the house. I pulled out one of the blade scraps and admired the edge, before walking to the small bathroom attached to the room and taking a seat.

I pressed the metal to the inside of my wrist, and slid it over the skin, hissing when the familiar tingle shot up my arm. I repeated my actions multiple times, each cut deeper than the last, and after 6 deep, red cuts, I stopped to watch the blood roll down my skin. I was about to press the blade back into my wrist when the bathroom door burst open. It was Liam.

"What are you doing?" He gasped, rushing to kneel in front of me and grab the blade from my fingers, flinging it across the room. I just starred at his horrified expression and watery eyes. Tears fell to his flawless cheeks as he examined my bleeding wounds. He mad me get up and treated my wrist, cleaning it and bandaging the wounds gently. "Why, Baby?"

"You heard them. I'm a worthless, fat, dumb, slut. I don't deserve happiness." He looked me in the eyes, tears falling from his. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Never hurt yourself, Mia. You are perfect. They're wrong. Please never harm your beautiful skin again," he said, sounding a bit angry, his thumb lightly sliding over my bandaged wrist, soothing the sting. He kissed my cheeks softly, taking my tears with him when he pulled away. He looked me in the eyes. "Let's go home, baby," he said, pulling me from my seat on the countertop. He wrapped me in his strong arms and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "If I let you know, I'm here, for you, maybe you'll love yourself, like I, love you," he sang Niall's part in Little Things into my ear before pulling me to the front door. He softly pushed me out the door and turned around to look at my nosy family gathered in the doorway leading from the foyer to the dining room.

"You are all worthless fuckers and you never deserved to have someone as beautiful, in mind, body, and soul, as her in your lives. I hope the remainder of your days are as miserable as your souls are dark. Go fuck yourselves, ya wankers." He said this all very calmly, his face completely blank of any expression. When he finished, he turned away from their dumbstruck faces, grabbed my hand and led me away from my past. Once in the car, he looked at me, capturing my complete attention. He took hold of my hand and brought it to his lips. "You're perfect to me, Mia," he said, pulling me towards him. "I'm in love with you and all your little things," he sang, then kissed me, as joyous tears rolled down my cheeks. I was unbelievably lucky to have him.