Stages

Seeing Him

"Okay Dean, don't get ahead of yourself. Leave comments like that to wait until the end of the story."
"Fine, well I first saw Cas in class, writing, it was social studies."
"Hey, who is that Andy?"
"Who? That dude?"
"Yeah, him. Do you know him?"
"Of course, he's awkward and quiet but that's Cas."
"Cas?"
"Weird name I know."
"I wouldn't say that."
"Did you really like that class Dean?"
"I mean yeah, I was pretty okay with it. First quarter non stop A's. And I had a crush who was at my table."
"Was that Cas?"
"No. Heh, yeah no. I was more open with this crush at first. The girl was named Anna."
"Are you saying that you didn't tell anyone that you liked Cas?"
I hesitated and remembered the night I told Cas.
"I like you too."
"What I'm saying is that I didn't know I liked Cas that way. At least at that moment. I just thought I really wanted to be his friend. He gave off that awkward vibe that was somewhat mysterious and I guess I was attracted to it."
"Well, go on with the story, Dean. We have all day, but still."
"Well, I never went up to him. I just looked at him a lot from a distance. He was only a table away from me. But then, to my luck, he was moved to the table with me and Anna was assigned there too. Oh, and there was this other girl who was friends with Anna. I think her name was like Rachel. I don't remember. She was funny though."
"So you stalked Cas from afar and then he was put at a table with you, Anna, and Rachel. Your secret crush, crush, and best friend of crush. How'd that go?"
"Well, I didn't get the courage to talk to him. I was somewhat scared to, but now I know it was because I wanted to impress him. Pretend that I didn't know he was there. It wasn't easy, he sat next to me.
"Hey can I copy that last thing? I didn't hear the teacher."
"Yeah, no problem."
"When Cas would write, it would be fucking weird, and entertaining. I kind of remember myself looking at him when we were taking notes, but you know I was also really caught up in Anna. I really liked her too. My crush with Anna was way more clearer, and she was so outgoing and loud. A bit annoying. But I liked that about her. People hated that quality of her."
"Okay so you met Cas and Anna both in social studies?"
"Yeah, I talked to Anna more though. It was way more noticeable that I liked her."
"Now, can you explain how you saw Anna and Cas separately?"
"Anna had to the shoulders red hair, and she was shorter than me, green eyes, loud, outgoing. Basically the opposite of Cas."
"What about Cas?"
"Cas was just amazing in his own way. I knew he was smart, just not loud enough. He was beautiful, he just hid it behind a sleeve. Cas in class, is like watching a movie sometimes. You know how when you see a character in a movie and you see the actor smile, and you can predict what they're thinking and you come up with all these ideas?"
He nodded.
"Well Cas was sometimes like that! I would be able to relate to him with just a look. But when he would say something, it was completely opposite of what I thought. I would be completely wrong."
He looks so happy, but there's just- something about him missing. I wonder what it is, or who.
"Hey? Do you know question #24?"
"Yeah you can copy off of me. I don't care."
"I mean you are better at this stuff than I am."
"Highly doubt it."
"Heh, okay."
Damn. That smile couldn't have been more attractive.
"Dean?"
I shook my head,"Yeah what?"
"Did you ever have these moments with Anna?"
"I would say yes, but not really. With Anna it was like normal. Expected. No surprises."
"You're saying that your relationship with Anna was boring?"
"I didn't say boring, I said expected."
I paused to gather my thoughts to wrap this up.
"With Cas it was different, a new thing everyday. It's like you get a script everyday with Anna. But it was more like improv with Cas. And I got high off that stuff, to be truly honest."