The life of Mikaela: Living with Depression

Chapter One  

She wakes up. Another hopeless day at school for Mikaela. Mikaela is a thirteen year old girl who hates her life. She's Bipolar, Anorexic with Bulimic tendencies, Depressed, Suicidal, and Self-Harms. She sorta grew up being neglected as you would say. Her parents had a rough divorce, an she'd always switch homes between the two. She's also used to not having many friends. It's always been hard for Mikaela to keep stable friendships and relationships. She's used to it by now though. She gets dressed, brushes her frizzy, messy hair, brushes her teeth, grabs her bag and she's off to school. School-where Mikaela isn't really liked by people. I mean, most people just mind their business, but they still stare. They stare at her face, her scars, her clothes. They all make her feel un-welcome. But of course, she doesn't show how un-happy she is. She goes over to her small group of friends, and laughs. They all make her smile wit their weird, awkward jokes. Period one comes. Mikeala only has one friend in there and her name is Lexy. Lexy is generally a quiet girl; nice to everyone, too. Mikaela and Lexy have known each other since 6th grade(two years) but got really close this year. They don't really tell each other "secrets". It's mostly all gossip/drama. That's pretty much all anyone talks about lately. Lexy and Mikaela leave class together as it ends. Period two; Mikaela has no friends in that class. It's always been really awkward for her, especially when it's time to group up in partners. She usually got stuck working alone. She liked this guy in that class though. His name was Jack. He wasn't her "type" though. He's got that douchebag attitude. But at times, he is really sweet. He's also very funny. He knows Mikaela likes him. It's really obvious. The way she looks at him, the way she talks when she's around him, just overall the way she acts. But like I said, they weren't each others "type". Today he said "Mikaela you're annoying.." But he was joking. But what he doesn't know is that Mikaela already feels annoying, depressed, suicidal, gross, fat, worthless, and a waste of space. He doesn't know that, but really, nobody does. Period two is over, period three is study hall. She walks in and sees Kayla. It's been a few days since they've talked. They've known each other for a long time though. They fight a lot. Period three goes by quickly sense it's study hall. Lunch is next. Mikaela has two primary lunch tables. She sits with Lexy, Kayla, Lauren, Maddi, and Ashley. Mikaela was closest with Lauren. She told her everything. About her depression, Anxiety, being Ana and Mia, self-harming, and being suicidal. Eventually, her whole friend group found out a little later. Lunch was usually a good time. So, period five comes. Maddi's in there. They're the most un-popular out of the whole class. The class is English. Mikaela has anxiety so she HATES reading out loud in front of the class. But she sucks it up, and does it, but regrets it every time. Period six- everyone hates Mikaela. She feels so un-wanted. She feels like dying in that class. Nobody at all likes her. When she has to speak out loud, she talks really fast. She's embarrassed, nervous, and nauseous. She.Wants.To.Die. Period seven; math. Mikaela's favorite class because Lauren, Jack, Ashley, Maddi, and Kayla are all in there. She's comfortable in there. She feels secure. Mikaela feels confident in that class. Especially around Lauren. They are best friends. They fight a lot but in the end, Mikaela only has Lauren. Period eight, study hall with Kayla again. Then schools out. Mikaela goes home to her two sisters, step-brother, step-dad, and mother. She doesn't really talk to her biological dad. He walked out of her life pretty much. Mikaela started to hate him when she moved in with him and his ex-girlfriend. The son of his ex, Cameron used to molest Mikaela. He also used to always beat her. She tried telling her dad but he wouldn't listen. Eventually that summer, her mother got custody back. Mikaela got home from school, then got online. But for some odd reason, all we friends are ignoring her. Nobody will talk to her. They tell her to leave them be. But, Mikaela didnt understand what she did. Plus, her boyfriend, Luke, broke up with her that day. Her mom and step-dad argued with her also on that same day. Everything for Mikaela was falling apart. Everyone hated her. So what does she do? Mikaela walks in her bathroom, locks the door, gets her hidden blades that are in a pen, and drags that blade all over her life-less, little wrists. Then she moves on to her thighs. Her ugly, fat thighs. She's never liked them. She takes that blade and tears deep into her skin. Deep enough to feel numbness. Then her mom knocks on the bathroom door-"Mikaela? Are you alright in there?!" She has been in there for at least two hours. She replied to her mother that she was fine and just didn't feel like getting up. She eventually got out of the bathroom, put on pajamas, and laid in bed. Thinking about what she did for every one to hate her. She cried and cried until there wasn't any tears left. Then drifted off to sleep, un-happy, depressed, and wanting to die.