One to talk

Lies

You were trying to think of someone you could contact. No one came to mind. Sherlock and John were about the only friends that you made here in London. Just then you thought of your mission which wasn't over. Only part of it was. The man you'd been searching for had died. You never knew his name. You told others to keep it under lock around you when you were working back home. You could never think of that man as a human at the time. You were too disgusted at the thought.

You tried to remember what Moriarty and Sherlock were talking about. It hurt your brain trying to clear the words. You just couldn't do it. But you remembered what Moriarty had said about Sherlock chosing you. Apparently Sherlock used you. You knew when he came back you were going to have to interrogate him.

Yet somehow you always knew, that you yourself, weren't really enough for him.

Yes, you were somewhat mysterious and shut out emotions when you needed to but that was all a part of you. You bled out your words on paper and in your mind. You observed people and could tell their life as a story. Everyone has a story to get where they are. Especially Sherlock, and you had no trouble proving yourself. You recalled the night you first met him. You told him his story, someone who he had never interacted with before and knew about him. You surprised him, on how you well obtained as much as you did.

Back to you. You weren't an open book, no. If anyone wanted to be your friend they'd have to prove themselves. Yet sometimes even that wouldn't be enough. Yet, that wasn't the reason Sherlock had gotten involved. Sadly, you thought that he needed someone to keep him occupied. Someone who could pose a challenge to this Moriarty guy. Would he intentionally hurt you? No, but he could use you as a distraction for that Moriarty guy. You just couldn't make much sense with it. You still didn't know who that Jim Moriarty guy was. You knew he was sick, and no one gave you background information about him. There was a story Sherlock certainly hadn't told you. By the way John had spoke about it, he knew how dangerous this man was to Sherlock and his friends. 'He loves to play games' is all you could think, those words ringing in your head.

You realized you had a love-hate relationship with Sherlock. You had so desperately wanted nothing to do with him and yet here you are talking about your emotions in your head. Sherlock had no expression, no emotion, was reckless and even though he was a so called 'genius', he was stupid. You may have your savior complex but it sure beat stupid choices any day.

Logical was one of your definitions. You agreed with Sherlock in so many ways but you couldn't bring yourself to shut off those feelings just because it helped you work better. John had left you awhile ago, as you convinced him that you would be fine. Yet, mentally you were strained.

You sat in the chair in silence. You just couldn't continue this world of thought much longer. Just then, the door clicked and the knob turned. You sat back and prepared for Sherlock to walk in.

He opened the door with force and saw you sitting down in the chair across the room.

" I don't have time for this right now." Sherlock said coldly.

"Yes, of course you don't. John's out so it's just us. Are you gonna tell me now what Moriarty meant? Don't think I won't let this go."

Sherlock sighed, "If you're so good at telling about others from observing their actions. Just do the same with me." He looked right at you.

"No, you don't understand, there's only so much I can gather. I'm smart, maybe even a genius but even both you and I have limitations. We're human. You can tell me if you made a mistake. It'd be okay. We can fix it together. Plus I don't think you would like to hear my thoughts anyway."

Sherlock scoffed at my words. "I didn't make a mistake. I know what I'm doing (y/n)."

He looked at you with cold eyes. He was locking himself shut and you knew that he didn't want to talk about it. Whatever he had done, he wasn't proud of. You could only guess that he had done bad, and that means he really did use you.

"If you won't tell me then there's no point In being here. I guess it's best if I leave now. Tell John I said bye." You grabbed your things, which wasn't much and walked past sherlock.

Sherlock even stepped aside for you. You were enraged, you stopped in your tracks and turned to look at Sherlock who couldn't even look at you. He had helped you and now he's betrayed you. And for what? To get involved in a case, just to get close to Moriarty?

"This is why I never wanted you to get involved with me. You're selfish. You did this all for you, how logical of you Sherlock. You certainly have a stone cold heart." You emphasized those last three words. Each with an articulate sound.

"You know where the door is." Sherlock said without so much as even a glance.

You were shaking from rage, gritting your teeth but at the same time you had felt crestfallen. He had let you down... and somehow he managed to gain a spot in your life, which was wasteful. You hated yourself for trusting him, it wasn't logical and yet you made that choice. It was yourself that was to blame.