Say It Isn't So

Just The Beginning

Janessa

" Beep, beep, beep "
That's all I hear while I try to sleep, I'm guessing it's 7:45 am and I have exactly 1 hour & 25 minutes to get ready for work. I roll over to see the face of one of my one night stands, It's Alex ... I know what I'm doing isn't stable but with my career at top of my list I have no time for a consistent relationship. Currently I'm a social worker but I'll be going back to school to be a criminal investigator how I'll find the time I don't know . " Beep, beep " I sigh guessing I really have to get up now, I slide out of bed personally without a care of waking Alex up or not yet I head straight to kitchen without waking her to turn on the coffee maker. I head back upstairs to jump in the shower and prepare myself for the start of another week. While in shower I hear a voice say " Good Morning beautiful " I turn around moving the curtain to see Alex at the sink washing out her mouth with mouthwash. " Good Morning Ms.Jackson " I say just awaiting her smart ass remark. " Gessh why so formal last night I was daddy and now I'm Ms.Jackson " Alex says giggling. Alex is a sexy fem I met at a dinner on a girls night out 5 months ago we both have our lives dedicated to our career so neither of us have the time for a real relationship. So it works for us probably about 3 times a week she comes over and we have the greatest, most fulfilling nights than go about our lives as nothing happened. We have a agreement no attachment or we end it and we make sure it doesn't happen by having no mental or emotional connection even though I can say Alex mind blows me she's honestly beautiful inside and out. I step out the shower and it's 8:20 I look at Alex and as much as I'll love to reach my hands between those thick thighs and indulge in her wetness this morning I know I got things to do so I head to my closet picking out a all black outfit; for today my black button up blouse with a black pencil skirt and my cherry red bottoms heels. Right as I get ready to start my makeup and hair I hear Alex yell from downstairs " I'll see you Wednesday Nessa your coffee is on the table just how you like it " than I hear the door shut. I finish my makeup and wand curl my hair, than grabbing all my paper work off my night stand and setting it in my bag. I've been working on a case dealing with a 5 year old boy who was abused and locked in a cage for 4 weeks. The shit people do to their children just sickens me, I can't seem to understand because Jason is the sweetest toddler I've ever came across. " Babyyyyy are you drunk, have you had enough .. Are you hear looking for lovee " I turn around already knowing who it was to grab my phone " Yes ma'am may I help you ? " " Woman if you don't take your formal ass on acting like you didn't grow up in ghetto any who where you at ? I hope you didn't forget you was taking Jordan to school today " This is the sound of my oh so annoying bestfriend and ex girlfriend. Jordan is our 3 year old son, after graduating from high school my bestfriend Destiny confessed her true feelings for me and after 7 years of the best relationship I had ever been in we ended it. We ended on terms of understanding see a month before we broke up it was a late Friday night and Destiny was working late at the studio she a artist and while heading to her car she was attacked and raped. It still not only destroys me but pissing me off to the extreme to even think about it the worst is that they have still yet to find her attacker after 3 years ... Destiny was physically, mentally and emotionally destroyed ... He took every part of her but God gave it all back and more when he blessed us with Jordan and even though Jordan was on the way Destiny had became so unattached to who she was that we both agreed it was best that she took the step back to find herself and do what's best for her. So it meant ending our relationship even though we both knew we could never go without each other I mean we been by each other side since we were 7 years old. Our relationship hasn't changed the love, the compassion, the foundation is still there neither of us just hasn't taken the initiative to find out if the future belongs to us especially when I spend majority of my time working and hers obsessed to living life to the fullest. " Des I defiantly did not forget it's my day to take my baby boy to school I was just about to grab my coffee and be on my way so have him ready " " Okay nae nae " I groan at that noxious nickname destiny gave me years ago as I hang up the phone. I grab my bag and head downstairs grabbing my coffee and heading out my condo to my baby.