Letters to You

September 10

I'm just so annoyed that I feel like crying. Out of frustration and confusion. Not sadness. I wish you were here; I wouldn't even have to explain it to you. You'd just know by the look on my face. You'd also know how to comfort me. Comfort. That sounds nice. I haven't felt true comfort in a while. Not real comfort anyway.
I just want to tell someone. I want to tell someone how I feel. I want there to be someone I can tell everything to. My thoughts. My feelings. My inner struggles. My dreams. My desires. My wishes. My hopes. My worries. My anxieties. My daily ponderings. My contemplations. My little annoyances. My pet peeves. Please come soon into my life.
Today's main source of confusion is my brother. My older brother. My one and only brother.
I just needed a simple favor. It involved him coming home though. He tried to get out of it. He tried to help me in other ways. He offered up ways which were way more complicated than need be. He tried everything. When I finally asked him why he was trying to do things the more complicated way, he fell silent. Dead silence was all I hear on the other end of the line. After that pause, he pretended he didn't hear. He continued with his ways, but this time offering a slightly less complicated way. I finally agreed although it didn't quite suit me. I was done. I tried. It left me utterly confused, frustrated, and wanting to just cry.
I felt like I was losing him. My brother. All I felt was blue.
I need someone to help me feel all the colors again. I need you to reassure me that my brother isn't becoming a stranger. That my relationship with him will only get stronger with time. That we won't turn out like them. That I'm more than an annoyance to him. Give me comfort. Please oh please, give me comfort.

And don't let the tears all fall down.