It felt like I'd got hit by a bus when we heard the news.
I couldn't believe it, I refused to.
Until his funeral.
"We're all here to say goodbye to Brent Wilson-"
Our bassist was dead. Our best friend was dead. Our brother was dead.
"I can't do this" I whisper and I look to my left at Ryan, who's trying his best to stay strong, and he looks down at me. "He's not gone, Ry, he can't be"I say looking into my lap. I feel his arm wrap around my shoulders and I lean into his touch.
"I know" He leans his head on mine. We're sat on the third row and I see his open casket, there are bruises and cuts on his pale skin and there is a large picture of him hanging above the casket. It was one of all of us where we were in highschool.
It feels like years by the time its over, my tie felt like it was choking me, my blazer was making me feel claustrophobic as well as all of these people crammed into a small room.
It was all over the news and in the papers when he died.
Panic!At the Disco's bassist Brent Wilson murdered in L.V, Tour Cancelled!
Everywhere I go I get reminded of that god awful day.
They caught the guy who stabbed him to death.
He got 5 years.
Should've been life.
"I just want to go home" I tell Ryan as we watch his casket get lowered into the ground.
"Want us to come with you?" Spencer asks as I shift my weight from one foot to the other.
"No..no,thanks, I think I'll just go to bed" I say honestly and Spencer smiles weakly, wiping the corner of his eyes.
People start shuffling away slowly and Brent's crying mother now walks over to us.
"Are you okay, boys?" She asks and we nod weakly.
"We'redoing our best, Mrs Wilson, if you need anything be sure to call"Ryan says and she nods. Mr Wilson now walks over, saying his hellos and walking Mrs Wilson over to the funeral car to take them to the wake.
I'd bought my car so Spencer, Ryan and I hop into it. My hands are trembling and I'm constantly trying to blink the tears away.
"Are you sure you don't want us to come in?" Ryan asks and I and,smiling as much as I can.
"I'm sure, go back home, you guys" I say and they nod as we get out of the car.
