The Mysterious Girl

Mysterious Girl

"Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?"
That's what I always asks whenever i'm with him,which in fact yun yung tanong ko sa sarili ko.And yes,if i'll be given a second chance to meet him again for the first time I would correct all the things I lied to him.Things about me,about my life.If only I knew na mamahalin ko sya sana,sana hindi na lang ako nagsinungaling tungkol sa pagkatao ko.

There's this guy I met through Internet.His name is Chase,he's already 31,and guess what,im only 20 and by the way my name is Ella,yes,super laki ng age gap namin,kaya hindi ko sya masyado pinansin.At first akala ko wala lang,bored lang sya at nghahanap ng makakausap,and there he chatted me and we became friends,I wasn't attracted to him at all.I often ignore his chats everyday because I was  busy with my work.And yeah im working already.I have to,I didn't finish my Business Administration course because of financial problem.And somehow I found a job,but hopefully next year mapagpatuloy ko na studies ko.Anyway lets go back to the main topic..Last year lang kami nagkakilala,he always asks me out but eveytime he asks,I refuses and its because I was dating someone else.And this guy i've been dating on last December happened to be one of those fuckboys,I can't believe i've waisted my time on him,and the crazy part is I liked him..we only had 3 dates,And the last date was a nightmare.I almost gave myself to himmI didn't know,I have no idea at all and it hurts me a lot knowing the fact that he only dated me for sex,akala ko okay sya,pure intention nya,I even have to cry and beg para tumigil sya..Thank God hindi natuloy.Back then I despise men,I swear not to have any feelings to any guy.It took months para maghilom yung sakit at sama ng loob na naramdaman ko.I also got lost contact to Chase,I dont know what happened to him and even don't care.But after a few months he began chatting me on Facebook and I replies to his chats,I may hate boys but not all of them..Must because my bestfriend is a guy.So there,Chase and I never missed a day chatting with each other,even if its just nonsense conversation.He chats me everyday and I was fine with it.He asks things about me.And so on,I told him about what happened to the last guy I dated.
Because of that worst experience,I didn't tell Chase things about me that much,thinking that he might just be one of those fuckboys too.What he knows are just a picture .I lied to him about myself.I lied because I thought it's just nothing.To the fact that i've been so honest to the guy I dated before.Because of that I told myself not to let any guy know everything about me again.Half of the things Chase knows about me are just lies.That im still studying.That im living with my parents,but truth is im so far from them.He doesn't know that im working,im working to help my parents,to help my sister finish her college,I have to set aside myself first because even my parents cant support me.
And then one day,he decided to see me.He stopped on the place where im working,and as I have said he have no idea,he thought I was just there because I told him that that place is where my Aunt working but truth is the Aunt Im saying is my boss.I cant believe i have to lie over things in order to cover my true identity.That was our first meeting.I just cant admit that im starting to like him since that night..He seem so nice.

After the first meeting he surprised me one night while im at the place im working,giving me cake,that was so sweet of him.We didn't have so much to talk kaya umalis na lang sya agad..One night when we're chatting he asked me out and we set a date.When that day has finally came,I don't feel any uneasy feeling,but I was kind of thinking how will our date going..We went to Circle for some walk,and then we ate,it was so normal.. But somehow I feel comfortable with him..Its like talking to an old friend,though I dont feel any feelings,weird.There they go my cold heart feeling so numb.He asked me why im so quiet,or if im feeling bored,nah,I just dont want to cherish the moment coz I dont want to fall for him,holding back my own feelings huh..It was almost midnight when we decided to head home.I feel like there's something he wants to say or ask.I remembered the guy I dated.. Sabi ko sa isip ko baka he wants a goodbye kiss or whatever kaya I asked him kung gusto nya ko ikiss,he then kissed me,passionately.I was only thinking of a smack kiss or just kiss on the cheek,first date first kiss huh.

It was June 26 when we had our second date.We went to a mall to watch a movie but because the movie that we're going to watch started already we decided to go somewhere,I told him to decide anywhere he wants.I was testing him,to what kind of guy he truly is.So ayun,dinala nya ko sa isang bar para uminom,wow.Nakakaturn-off Pero d ko na pinahalata..I know whats he's going to do next but I played along.After drinking I told him inaantok nako kaya inaya ko na sya umuwe,while on the way home,I told something and it was a crazy idea I had in mind, I told him im thinking of giving him my virginity,I didn't care what will he think.He's really into the bait,he ask me not to go home yet and then he brought me to a motel.There,he started to get me,but then I changed my mind and stopped him.He still tried to get inside of me but because he saw me that im in pain he did listen and stopped..He apologized for his actions..What all im thinking that night is that he's just the same to the guy I dated.Dating for sex.What an idiot.Soon as I got home,I off my phone para hindi nya nako macontact,ganun lang nman yun eh.Iniisip ko hndi narin sya mgpaparamdam gaya nung gnagawa ni DK,na mali pala ako.I was surprised in the morning when I received his chats on Facebook,Bakit hndi daw ako ngtext nung nkauwe nako,bakit hindi nya ko matawagan.I ignored him.I changed my number kaya hindi nya ko matawagan.This guy is just so persistent,blowing up my messenger.I thought of blocking him,Pero naisip ko thats not a nice thing to do.Ewan ko ba,akala ko kaya ko sya tiisin.It was already noon when I decided to text him using my new number..Naawa ako sa kanya,umasa nako dati pero ayoko naman na this time ako naman magpaasa.Its not just right di ba.He called me immediately..He said he thought he was going to lose me.I don't know why but somehow I felt happy that time..knowing na ayaw nya ko mawala.But I didn't set aside the thought na baka kaya nya sinasabi yun kasi hindi sya nkahome run.There goes my negativity.

Our so called Mutual understanding goes on.And I still decided not to tell him everything.I mean what for?For another heartbreak?No way.I've had enough.We became officially in a relationship on July 1.but before saying yes to him,sinabi ko na hindi nya ko pwedeng pagbawalan sa mga gusto ko at ganun din ako.He agreed.Pero may mga bagay tlga na minsan hindi namin napagkakasunduan kaya napagmumulan ng away.Yes,away bati kami,nakakapagod yun Pero as long as gumagawa sya ng effort para maging okay kami hindi ko sya iiwan.Npakaselfih ko eh noh.Ganun tlga.He has to make a move.On July 24 we went to MOA,kumain kami then nanood ng sine.It was 11 nung natapos yung sine at umuwe kami,but then again,he really wanted to get me.He told me na pag nsaktan ako hndi daw nya itutuloy,haha,seriously,this guy doesn't know when to quit.While we were on a private room,I was so tense.Pero sabi ko bahala na,kung iiwan nya after getting my virginity then fine,I wont regret anything because at some point ginusto ko yun.And there,tuluyan na nya nakuha yung pinakaiingatan ko.It was really painful that I have to cried but because he's gentle the pain goes away and turns to be pleasure.He thanked me after that make love.He said he's not going to leave or hurt me.Yeah you better not,idiot.