Sadness.
That's all I could feel.
Nothing else.
Just sadness.
"It's over. I've been leading you on the whole time. I've liked someone else. It was all lies. It's time we break up. I hope you can forgive me one day."
I re-read and re-read his words over and over again, not believing what I was seeing.
The words started to blur together, and that's when I realized I was crying.
The only words that kept going through my mind were "Why? Why now?"
"It was all lies."
"I've been leading you on the whole time."
"I've liked someone else."
Those words kept racing through my head.
How could he?! It was all a game to him?!
At that moment, all I could feel was anger towards the boy I once loved and trusted with all my heart, despite my trust & commitment issues.
I started punching my wall as hard as I could, ignoring the pain in my hand as I got out all my anger, and dropped to my head and screamed into my pillow.
The next few days at school were horrible, seeing his face everyday, hearing his voice and laugh. The nights were even worse. All I did was cry into my pillow because while he was happy and flirting with everyone in sight, I was hiding in my oversized sweater, avoiding talking with anyone as much as I could, incase I burst into tears right there.
My friends tried to console me, but it never worked, because all I wanted was him; even though I never would again.
After another week of tears spilt I started to get over him, slowly I might add, but getting there. I tried avoiding him with my life. If I seem him coming down the hall, I turned around and walked the other way and didn't look back, though I could feel his eyes burning into my back.
I started flirting with guys, and got happier and happier each day that passed. Though I could tell it was the opposite for him.
I could feel his lingering eyes on me as I walked passed him, the glares towards the guys I was talking to. He thought I didn't notice; but like fuck I didn't.
I was scrolling through my FaceBook news feed when a status caught my eye:
Colby Kland: status update-
I wish I had never let you slip through my fingers...
I didn't know how to feel towards it.
Was it about me?
Was he talking about someone else?
Did he regret breaking up with me?
The thought bugged me all night and into the next day. I could barley concentrate in class, and I kept zoning out on my friends.
That night, I got brave and decided to send him a message, after 3 hours of an internal battle.
Sofie Blanche: was that status about me last night? Btw, stop looking at me in school. Please.
(Sent at 9:54pm Wednesday, May 19th)
But by time I had finally sent it, he wasn't online anymore.
He hadn't seen it until Friday evening, while I was on tumblr.
Fb: *1 new message from Colby Kland*
I sucked in a deep breath before opening his message.
Colby Kland: yes. Why do you ask? And why? You used to like it.
(Sent at 8:30pm Friday, May 21st)
Sofie Blanche: because I would like to know when people make a status about me. Why would you? It's your fault I'm not "yours". & because, we were dating then. Now it's just creepy.
(Sent at 8:33pm Friday, May 21st)
Colby Kland: because I miss you. And it isn't my fault you aren't mine anymore, I had to break up with you. And oh, so I can't, but that douche Tanner can?
(Sent at 8:35 Friday, May 21st)
Sofie Blanche: how isn't it your fault? Oh wait, you "had" to because you played me, liked someone else. You know what? Go die you fucking prick.
(Sent at 8:39 Friday, May 21st)
Colby Kland: that was a lie, that wasn't even me who sent the message!
(Sent at 8:41 Friday, May 21st)
Sofie Blanche: whatever.
(Sent at 8:42 Friday, May 21st)
After that, I deleted and blocked him off all my social networking sites, and deleted his number in my phone. I don't know why I didn't do that before.
Weeks passed after that, and I ended up dating Tanner. It was going well, until I realized I still had feelings for Colby.
Me and tanner had a mutual breakup, he thought we just didn't click like we should of. It was alright with me.
I unblocked Colby and sent him a text, hoping he wasn't mad at me.
To: Colby
Hi...
From: Colby
Who's this?
To: Colby
Sofie...
From: Colby
Oh... Hey,
To: Colby
I miss you...
From: Colby
I miss you too, can I explain now?
To: Colby
Yes.
From: Colby
K, you know Kelsey? My crazy ex? K well she said she would hurt you if I didn't break up with you, and hurt you. I never wanted too, but I didn't want you to get hurt, so I did. Babe, I still love you, I never stopped loving you, and I always will.
To: Colby
Oh.... I still love you too...
From: Colby
Can we start over?
To: Colby
Yes.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I stopped it there... Btw this is a one shot. Only a one shot.
Thoughts?
-broken hearts w/smiles:)
