My Self Harm Story

The First Time

When I was about 6 my parents divorced. Most parents now a days do that. But my dad didn't take anything  in the divorce, just me... We moved into a little apartment and I got a bed and my dad slept on the floor.

At my moms house she met a guy named Doug. Now at first he seemed nice but soon he became a drunk and so did my mom. I never liked him. He always yelled at me and my sister but he also bought my sisters pot and booz. When I was 7 he first touched me... I didn't know what to do. I thought it was normal.. So I didn't try to stop it. He first raped me when I was 8 and I knew what was happening so I tried to stop it... But I was 8 I didn't have much strength against a 50 year old man. With all the pain I passed out. I started cutting the next day... Just little scratches on my leg... My parents of course thought I fell or something. It was 2008, I mean kids still played outside.

I went to my fathers house after that. I couldn't tell him... I mean I learned to keep things and my feelings to myself.. My dad finally got his own bed so he didn't have to sleep on the floor. And I was happy for him cause from sleeping on the floor his back hurt..

When I went to school I was severely bullied by a lot of kids. I always went into the bathroom crying... I couldn't handle it. At one point when I was 9 I was jumped by a bunch of popular girls... It was awful. School has always been bad for me.

I went back to my moms house. My mom and Doug were of course drunk again so I ran up to my room every time I came home from school and I locked the door. At one point I put my bed and dresser in front of the door and sat on the roof. Every time I was there he raped me... I mean I couldn't stop it... He'd kill me...