Letting Go

Two

LAINE.

"Goddamn it, Adam, will you shut the fuck up already?"

I sat down on the edge of my bed, huffing exasperatedly. Adam was angry again about Camden coming over to my house to hang out. He was becoming more irritating day by day, which was starting to increase a strain between us.

"I refuse to shut the fuck up," Adam bellowed. "You should've at least let me know that Camden was coming over. You know how I feel about him."

"I don't get why you despise him so much," I said, standing up to pace around in my room. "He's never done anything remotely hostile to you."

"I just don't like him being with you alone. I don't trust him, you know that I've heard things about him."

I scoffed. "Unbelievable. Those things you heard aren't true at all, and besides, I've known Camden since I was a baby. Give him some credit. Can't you at least try to be civil with him?"

"Why are you giving me a hard time?" he groaned. I could imagine him running his fingers through his hairs like he always does when he's frustrated. "Now you're just being a bitch."

"Excuse me?" I said, my voice raising. "Where did that come from? That was totally uncalled for."

"You-"

"You know what, save it. Call me when you've regained some common sense."

I tapped the end call button and kicked the empty trash can, causing it to thud and tip over. I had to talk to Meredith before I get angrier, so I threw some clothes into a backpack and ran downstairs. Meredith was the only person who understood the dynamics between Adam and I. I never talked about Adam's anger issues with anyone other than Meredith, not even Camden. I think the reason Meredith knew how to handle our problems was because she herself had been in a relationship when she was fifteen with a much older guy who had the same issues as Adam.

I grabbed my car keys from the hook and called behind my back, "I'm sleeping over Meredith's!"

Mom scurried over to me immediately from the living room, carrying a small, clear cylinder. She thrusted it into my hand. "Don't forget your vitamins, sweetie. We don't want another crash, do we?"

"Thanks, Mommy," I replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I promise I won't take another Adderall. Meredith and I are just going to chill, no homework tonight."

"Okay. Be home before noon tomorrow!"

I gave my mother one last peck and headed out the front door. I rolled my old Range Rover down to Meredith's neighbourhood, which was a fifteen-minute drive from mine. She lived in a poorer part of Tuckett Drive, near the ghetto where we get our weed. Nevertheless, her house was comfortable and clean, complete with heating and some cable channels.

Meredith greeted me at the front door in her letterman varsity and some ratty sweatpants. She had a bowl of stale cereal in her hand and her puppy Chico scampering nearby as she led me into her bedroom.

"You always text before you come over," she exclaimed as she clumsily set the bowl on her messy desk. "Is this another Adam emergency?"

"It is," I sighed, leaning back on her pillow. She sat on her chair while I laid down on her springy, squeaky queen bed, which was far too big for her bedroom. "He got angry about Camden coming over again. Can you believe that guy?"

"You've been together for a while. I thought by now he'd understand the nature of your relationships with every guy in your life."

"It's different with Camden, though. I've never been more than friends with him my whole life, I swear!" I cried out, tracing a cross on my heart with my fingers. "But Adam acts like I fuck Camden every time I hang out with him."

Meredith tucked her short hair behind her ear, clicking her tongue. "...I hate to break it to you, Lainey, but I think he might be projecting."

"What does that even mean?"

"Psychological projection," she explained, "is when a person defends themself against an unpleasant situation and instead blames it on others."

I stared at her blankly. "I still don't get it."

"You see," Meredith started. She jumped onto the bed next to me and starting picking her nails. "I think Adam might be cheating on you with a close friend of his. That's why he keeps on accusing you of doing things with Camden and distrusts you being alone with him. Just think about it, all those late football practices and tons of study group sessions?"

"That's impossible," I said quickly. Too quickly. "Adam would never cheat on me. He loves me too much, and I love him."

Meredith shrugged nonchalantly. "You never know. I'm not trying to be mean, but that possibility is still there. Don't fall for someone so hard. Always put your guard up, Lainey."

"He loves me, he wouldn't cheat," I repeated firmly. I started to feel uncomfortable, because it felt more like I was trying to convince myself instead of Meredith. "He's just being a dick about Camden, that's all. Nothing more."

"If you say so," dismissed Meredith. "But please, enough about Adam. You and I should totally go party and forget about this whole ordeal."

"I'm not in the mood."

"Come on, Laine! It'll be fun," she pleaded, tugging on my sleeve. "Please, please, please come with me. There's someone I want to meet, and I don't want to show up alone at the party. That's like, totes lame."

"Who's the guy this time?"

"Wes Crosley," Meredith said with a dreamy look on her face. "He goes to Coalfield, and he plays football too. Totes tall and buff and handsome. I just have to meet him."

"There are plenty of tall and buff and handsome football players in our school," I said, rolling my eyes. "Why do you have to go for a Coalie guy? Their team is about to play against ours next weekend, you know."

"I haven't gotten laid since I broke up with Leon," she wined, tugging my sleeves again. Leon was her previous boyfriend, who was nine years older than the both of us. Laine lost her virginity to him during the summer before junior year. I tried talking her out of it but she was dead set on giving it to him. Only I knew about the tryst, because Leon could go to jail for sleeping with a minor. "It's been a five-month dry spell."

"Fucking gross, Meredith!" I laughed after making gaggings sounds at her statement. "Fine, I'll come with, but I must warn you that I don't have the energy to be the designated driver."

"Take your Adderall," ordered Meredith. She started sifting through her clothes in her closet before pulling out a fancier set of outfit.

"I might crash, I took one a couple of hours ago so I could do my Calc test and my History paper," I moaned, glancing at the medicine box peeking out of my bag.

"Just one little pill won't hurt," she assured, waving her hand. "Besides, you'll have more fun Addie'd up, right?"

I looked at the medicine box again before reaching over to pull out a pill. I clutched it in the palm of my hand, and before I tipped back my head to swallow it, I repeated Meredith's words.

"Just one little pill won't hurt."

***