My Short Creature Feature Stories

They Go To Church

It was summer time once more, and Curtis and Erik had nothing to do. The two heard church bells that Sunday morning, Curtis saying,

"Maybe we could go to the beach. It seems to always be sweltering in California."

Erik shrugged and said,

"Sounds cool."

But they stopped, seeing two kids run by, going to catch a squirrel. Curtis chuckled as they put the beast in a shoe box with holes inside. He wondered where they were taking the feral thing. They walked a bit more when they heard a church choir. It was easy to tell that they weren't Christians, but somehow they were drawn in. They suddenly found themselves getting a seat in the back pews. They didn't want attention drawn to them, especially with their different looking outfits. Soon the choir started their next song, Curtis huffing. Why were they here? Erik looked around and said,

"Huh, well at least we aren't that bored now..."

Curtis nodded lightly.  Unbeknownst to them both, the two boys that had caught the squirrel were sitting in a pew not too far away. They had snuck the box into church and had the top opened a bit to see the animal. Suddenly that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk. Curtis and Erik noticed that people in the row over were shifting, looking under their seats. They paid close attention. As the choir was in the middle of "I Surrender All", the squirrel ran up into Erik's pant leg. Erik gasped and jumped to his feet, yelling,

"Something's got a hold on me!"

Erik was now in the aisle, dancing and screaming. Some thought he had religion while others thought he had a demon in him. And Erik though he had a weed eater loose in his britches. He didn't know what it was, the poor man screaming as he jumped and hollered, Curtis thinking he had finally snapped for good. Erik as at the front when he fell to his knees, pleading and begging as his last resort.

"P-Please! Please God help me!" He begged.

The retched squirrel then ran out of his pant leg, unobserved by everyone else in the room. Everyone was looking around, a commotion starting. Meanwhile, Curtis had been watching all of this commotion with sadistic glee. You should've seen the look in his eyes when the squirrel shot up his pinstriped pants and crossed his thighs. Curtis jumped to his feet and yelled,

"Lord, have mercy on me!"

As the squirrel made laps around his pants, he began to cry and then to confess for his sins that would make even Jerry blush in shame. He told of his drinking and hurting others, but the thing that go the most attention is when he talked about his love life, and then he started naming names!

"I-I did with even people who had wronged me! I-I even did it with the p-pastor!"

The church gasped, things becoming insane. Curtis fell to his knees to Erik's left, begging and pleading along with him until the squirrel found its way out. People finally saw the beast and started jumping the pews, shouting,

"Hallelujah!"

Curtis panted, tears running down his face he looked at Erik. They looked at each other, both a bit lost and shocked. They slowly started to smile and dry their tears until they were laughing. They headed out of the church soon after. Well it turned out that seven deacons and the pastor got saved, twenty five thousand dollars as raised, at least five hundred re-dedications, and everyone was re-baptized whether they needed it or not. The two killers couldn't help but revisit every so often in remembrance. Curtis and Erik never forgot until their dying days of how that church was set straight by that half crazed Californian squirrel.

The End

(AN: Heh, made this in like ten minutes so it isn't the best quality, but thought I might as well update with something a bit funny X3)