2015
Dear stranger,
You probably don't know me, and it's okay because not even I know myself; and honestly, I'm not even sure if I want to do it anymore. They told me you'd listen, or more like you'd read, and I don't know why you'd do that, because that probably would absorb you out. But hey, it's not exactly like a shot in the dark, is it?
When I heard those devastating news, I didn't know what to do. Everything started to blur, I even remember how I saw everything become darker. It had been a while since I saw them, I had moved for a new opportunity I was given and I was planning to come back for the holidays and I did, but things were nowhere near the same. He wasn't the one who told me, but mom did. I was too excited when I was at the plane, I'd finally be with my family and my friends, but something seemed off when I got to my mom. I thought they'd be there to welcome me back, but no one was, just her. I could understand, though. They were probably busy. Or so I thought. They weren't. They weren't. They weren't. They were not here. They were not there. They weren't here. Not anymore. But, did they ever were?
He kinda was, though. But I wouldn't say that now. He isn't here anymore, and he probably wasn't really.
They were all gone. And so, I guess I had lost myself as well.
It was my fault. I shouldn't have left them. But I did, and that was so egoistic, I was so self-centered, I just looked out for myself, and the worst part is that I still do.
To be honest, I miss them so much and that's why I'm writing this to you. I want to remember them as how I saw them at the moment and how I couldn't do anything right to help, and then see how fucked up things are now and just fuck myself up even more. I knew I couldn't leave them. It is all my fault, and there's no way to deny it. He thinks it's his fault, but boy you are horrendously wrong. It is all my fault.
I know what they felt, I knew what they felt and I'm surprised how I got this far feeling like that. I got this far because they were there, and I couldn't be there, and still, I'm not really here.
I'm sorry,
S.
YOU ARE READING
I'm Sorry, S.
FanfictionWhy should I put a description? It's no fun when you know what's going on before you start reading. Honestly, I found it so hard to make a good description or just like a good starter for this story, since it can become confusing at times. This is...
