Moments

Harry's P.O.V.

I entered my dark flat, and threw my keys in the floor. I didn't care about them. I didn't care about anything. I was numb.

I walked up to my room, not bothering to turn any lights on, and collapsed on the bed. I stared up at a crack in my white sealing for a moment before finally letting everything that I had been holding in out.

I sobbed louder than I ever had before, tears running down my face, and soaking the black dress shirt I had on.

Why did this have to happen to her? Why? She was such a good person. She loved life. She dreamed of getting married and having a family. WITH ME. We were going to have three kids, and a house in London.

Why God? Why? How could you do this to not only her, but me. I loved her. I had never felt the way I felt about her towards any woman, ever.

Why did you have to take her from me?

~

When they called me, and told me she had been in an accident, I jumped in my range rover, and sped down to where they said it was, hoping to be able to comfort her, to be able to kiss her forehead, and tell her it was going to be alright, but instead found her being carried out on a stretcher, with a sheet laid over her.

When they told me she was dead, all I could do was scream "NO!" over and over. They had to get someone to try to calm me, but I wouldn't stop screaming. They called Louis, and he came and picked me up, tears rolling down his face as he calmed me and drove me back to his flat. He held me in his arms for hours that day, just shushing me as I cried.

Today might have been worse than that day though.

Actually having to see her.

Dead.

She was laid in the coffin in the red dress I had picked for her to wear, her makeup done so perfectly.

She still didn't look like my Cassie though.

She didn't have her sweet smile spread across her face, her beautiful brown eyes weren't sparkling.

She just laid there, cold and dead, her eyes closed, and a solemn expression on her face.

I touched her hand gently, and told her I loved her one last time, before joining the other boys in the front row. She had no other family, but there were still many people there. All of her friends, including her best friend, and Lou's girlfriend, Eleanor, who was sitting next to Lou sobbing.

It seemed everyone was crying.

Except me.

I couldn't cry, all I felt was numbness.

~

I stood up and picked up my shirt she had slept in, the day before the accident.

It still smelled like her.

I looked around the room at the other belongings she had left here.

One by one I put them in a box, and set them on my bed.

Then I wrote a note.

Mom, Gemma, Louis, Liam, Niall, Zayn, everyone, I'm so sorry, I just couldn't take the pain any longer. I love you all very much. Good luck in your lives, xxx - Harry

I left that on the bed too, and walked back out into my flat. I picked the keys up off of the floor, said one final goodbye to my flat, and walked out into the London air. I hopped in my range rover, and drove to a local high rise hotel in downtown London.

I walked into the hotel, rode the lift up 30 stories, pushed open a door, and found myself on the top of the hotel, looking over the beautiful streets of London.

I walked to the edge, and looked down.

Anyone who were to jump would die on impact.

Like Cassidy.

Perfect.

I stepped a little closer, and felt my toes go numb.

They say right before you die, your life flashes before you.

They were right.

I saw myself playing football with Cassie in my parents front yard in Holmes Chapel.

I saw myself laying in bed with Cassie after we made love for the first time, my clothes piled at the end of her bed.

I saw us dancing.

Playing.

Kissing.

Everything.

Then I saw her dead in the coffin, in her beautiful red dress, which is what made me do what I did.

I pushed myself off the edge.

As I fell, all I could do was make a joke of it all.