Reassurance (#sytycw15) (#loveInspiredRomance)

Part Twenty-one

October 3rd, 1998

"Miss. Mcwelsh?" A police officer asked out for Isla.

Isla could barely speak, all she wanted was to hear Claire's voice say cheerily, "I'm alive, Is!" It didn't matter how it came out, she just wanted to hear the soft high pitched voice that belonged to none other than Claire.

"Yes?" Isla asked barely audible. It was dark outside, everyone except John and Isla had left to go home and mourn.

"I have something that belongs to you... Or should I say, written for you." The officer said quietly. Isla looked at the folded sheet of paper written neatly. Isla was about to decline before noticing the handwriting as Claire's.

She took it with shaking hands and let out a shaky breath. She quietly began reading it to herself, John had moved away to give her privacy and space.

'Dear Isla,

I am writing this letter to let you know the reason behind my death.'

Isla paused and let out a strangled cry, sniffing she continued.

Don't blame yourself, it was bound to happen to me. You see, there was a little part of my story I didn't tell you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to treat me differently, I didn't want you to baby me because I was going to die.

Yes, I knew I was someday going to wilt away like a flower. I knew that I would be leaving you soon and that you would most likely be blaming yourself.

It is not your fault. In fact, to be honest, it's mine. A long time ago, I was going on a vacation with my biological family... they had stopped at a gas station while I was unbuckled and door left wide open I took the opportunity to go explore before leaving Kansas to go back to my real home, Texas.

I, being so oblivious to the dangers of life, wandered my way into a toxic factory. All the workers of the factory had been wearing masks to protect themselves from the toxic fumes. I, on the other hand, had been inhaling the fumes.

So much fumes that before someone found me, I fainted and was being carried into a children's hospital. They had informed my parents that because I already was diagnosed with asthma that I had a possibility of having lung cancer.

They had money to pay for my chemotherapy, but didn't want to I guess. I don't exactly know why. It's complicated. But, anyways I was put up for adoption, but after a couple of months  of no one wanting a child with such a disease, I ran away.

I stopped near the fountain, cried for a few minutes before you found me and took me home. Adel was mad, but had grown to love me. For some reason, I had little problem with my asthma and I felt my body becoming healthier. My hair started growing back and I felt as if I didn't have any disease.

When your aunt Rhonda, took me to the doctors. I knew what they were going to tell me. I knew Rhonda would tell you... so I asked to be told privately. They told be that my cancer came back Isla. And that it was worse than ever. That no chemo could pay to fix it. There was no cure, no stopping it's rapid growth. I had to tell you to leave, I couldn't bare you watching me grow weak, watching me die slowly.

It just never felt right. 

I felt at home with you Isla, so thank you for that. Thank you for being the older sissy I never had, the family I had always wanted, and most of all... the best friend I could ever ask for.

So, don't blame yourself. Life has it's ups and downs. It's just the way it works. I'm sad that I didn't get to see you grow up and become someone wonderful with that dream of yours. Please, don't let this stop you from touching the stars.

They say the sky's the limit. But not for you Isla. You could touch the moon with that attitude of yours. Don't forget me, Isla. Never forget me. Though it may hurt awhile there is always a rainbow after the rain. Don't forget me, I promise to watch over you, and promise to guide you along the way... to your dream. our dream. Don't give up, on what's right... or our last years together would be a waste.

Fulfill my last death wish, and keep pressing on. 

I hope you don't hate me,

Thank you Isla... Thank you so much. When you see me, whether it be in my casket or in your dreams... Remember me with a smile, because that is how I feel, Happy.

Don't cry too much, Or you'll make me cry as well.

Believe in yourself. Believe in who you are, stay true to yourself Isla. Don't fret, I'll be by your side. Holding your hand, If God lets me.

Be strong, Claire-Bear. XOX

Goodbye.'

When Isla was finished reading the tears were unstoppable. Claire, her Claire-bear... was gone. She left her and had broken their promise.

"Don't cry, don't cry..." Isla kept whispering to herself as she rocked herself back and forth. Shutting her eyes tightly she imagined a smiling Claire. But all she could see was a pale, emotionless Claire.

"Claire..." Isla almost shouted out the words. Immediately John came and wrapped her in his jacket, Holding Isla to his chest.

"John... make her come back." She squeaked out, a strangled cry released rom her mouth as she hid her face in the crook of John's neck.

"I wish I could, Is..." He mumbled, Isla could feel the wetness of John's tears on her back. She let out another strangled cry as he rubbed her back. She was trying so hard not to cry, but she couldn't hold it in.

"Let it out Isla... Just let it out." He said to her as she squeezed him to her. She screamed at nothing, she screamed and screamed, even though her voice grew weak and her throat unbearably sore... She screamed until her screams came soundless.

She screamed for Claire to come back, for her to do anything rather than laying there, motionless.

It was a nightmare that day for Isla, a nightmare she wished would never come true... nor would live on.

***