Second Chances

Chapter: 12

The car ride was long and aggrevating. My seatbelt tucked into the skin of my neck, bottom strap to tight on my hip. Niall had stopped about two miles into the trip to pick up some bottles of ice tea and a bag of pretzels for the drive, since nobody had eaten in at least 24 hours. I sat, looking out the window. By the time we left it was about three in the afternoon, and took about two hours to get there, according to Niall. As it began to rain and the sky turned grey, I sighed and came to a thought. How uncomfortable I was. Sure, I wasn't that afraid or frightened by Harry as much as I was before.. But I still did not like him. And he made it clear he didn't like me, after playing two days worth of the tricking-me-into-thinking-I-was-special game. After a tedious hour and a half, Harry tapped my knee. He'd insisted on sitting in the back with me. My knee flinched up.

"What's the matter with you? You're so quiet." his fingers drew little circles on my skin. His eyes searching for mine, I filled with anxiety. Everything is wrong. You're the reason why. I felt like saying. Niall excused himself to get gas for the car. Why does my conscious keep winning?

"Everything. My whole world is different and to be honest, it's all your fault." I said quickly. He took his hand off of my knee. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry... It just came out, I'm so sorry." I tried to make up the horrible things I'd spat.

"No, no. It's okay." he shook his head casually. "It is my fault, but I'm fixing it."

"My problem is just that I'm relying on you completely. That's scares me. I've always know where I was, what to do, where to go. Now I know none of that without you. Being dependant sucks and I don't know how much longer I can take it." I said softer. His eyes darted down.

"Tell me. Can you?" he seemed uncomfortable, but as usual, continued to make eye contact difficult for me.

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?"
Is he serious?

"Maybe, because you took me, refused to let me go, acted so bipolar that I don't even know which way is up, and make me feel lost and dependant? I dunno, you tell me."

"Okay... So maybe we have a problem." he put his hands up. I felt the urge to laugh but didn't. "But how will we fix it unless you let me in?"

"Harry, we are not a couple. We are not friends. We are not counselors. We are not talking about this as if our whole "relationship" depends on it." he looked down again. His thumbs banged into each other as he tapped.

"To be honest, I thought we did have a relationship." he looked back at me. Did I feel bad? You should. "I thought once you went home or wherever you ended up, I'd still be in your life. Apparently all you wanted was to let me help you and then up and leave me." his eyes turned darker. The light emerald green fizzled away.

"I didn't mean it like that.."

"Am I wrong?" his eyebrows went up and his hands moved up and down his arms.

"Yes, No, I don't know." I honestly didn't. I want to leave him but I can't say that. I don't know what I want.

"It's okay if that's what you want." he said, his eyes locked on mine. I knew what he was doing. And by now, he should know that I can see it. "If you want help, I'll help you. Then you can forget all about me, about everything that happened in L.A." his eyes continued to haunt me. Niall came back and entered the front seat.

"Aye, what were you guys talking about? Hope you weren't bad mouthin' me." His joking nature took the tension away from the what seemed empty space between me and Harry.

"No. We were talking about how Grace doesn't think her and I have a relationship." my mouth fell open.

"Harry!"