In Search of Peace

Chapter 1: The Orphan

I love the woods. The feeling of seclusion, being completely disconnected from the world, and no sign of life except for the animals. Some might find it creepy being all alone in the middle of nowhere but for me it's what makes me feel at peace. Right now, looking out across the lake through the kitchen window, I needed this peace. Quickly, I rinse out my mug and cereal bowl from breakfast. Once I'm done I step out onto the back deck and head for the steps leading to the hiking trails. When my father bought this land he carved out trails all throughout the property. Following the perimeter of the lake and also a few that lead deeper into the woods, so deep that if you weren't familiar with the paths you could end up walking for days and never find your way back to the cabin.

The cabin holds so many happy memories of us. Dad taking the canoe out on the lake. He would stay out there for hours just paddling along looking out into the woods taking in nature. Mom would be sitting in her favorite lounge chair reading a book on the back deck. She'd be snacking on some homemade seasoned popcorn or trail mix. I use to swipe a handful from her on my way out. I miss them. Their cloths are still in the drawers as if they're here with me. The scent of my mom's perfume still lingers throughout the cabin. The smell is so strong sometimes I expect to see her walk out of her room or in the kitchen making a cup of coffee. Every summer we came here she insisted on wearing it even when Dad and I would give her a hard time about it. "Who are you trying to impress? The wildlife? They don't care if you stink" Dad would tease. She'd just give him an annoyed look and say "I may live in the woods but I'm not an animal." That's just how she was the cultured city girl and my dad the wild man. At least he liked to believe he was a true survivalist. He kept the cabin stalked year round ready for the day man may have to fend for himself against technology breakdown or who knows what. He was a little eccentric but that was part of my dad's charm. It feels strange being here my first summer without them.

I walk the longest path on our property it's a bit muggy out but today nothing seems to bother me. I keep thinking about the plane. It's funny how my parents took up flying to add to their life experiences and it ended up taking their lives. They loved going on adventures taking risks. I was in college now just finishing up my junior year. As soon as I moved out my parents were "Living it up now that the runt's out of the house." my dad so eloquently put it as he pushed me out the door and cracked confetti poppers with my mom. Is it stupid that I feel like an Orphan even though I'm basically a grown woman. I'm 20 now I should be able to handle being on my own. I would have been on my own when I graduated in a year anyway. "What's the difference Alex? You're a big girl now." I tell myself as I make my way through trees and brush. My feet crunching against rocks and twigs. "The difference is I won't ever get to see them again." I stop in my tracks holding back the tears in my eyes. "The difference is... I'm all alone now." I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands. How am I going to deal with all their stuff and the house? Should I sell it all? Donate the clothes probably. "If you don't need it get rid of it. Besides it gives you an excuse to replace it with something new" my mom would say. She was not at all sentimental. For as much as she spent on her clothes and furniture she was never attached to anything. Dad would kill me if I ever got rid of the cabin though. I could burn the house down but he'd roll over in his grave if I got rid of this place. It was our sanctuary every summer for as long as I could remember this was always the same. Our place of peace. Even mom was attached to this place. It's the only thing other than her family that she loved the most.

I'm picking my way through some bushes that snag on my shirt and scraped my legs when I hear something. Tilting my ear toward the sound it's like a whimpering almost dog like. I strain my ears to determine if I'm right. It stops a moment then starts again. The more I listen the more it loses it's animal quality. "It kind of sounds like a kid crying. That can't be right" I say as I take in my surroundings. I realise then that I'm not on the trail anymore. I don't even see it. Straining to listen to the crying again I don't hear it. I wait a few minutes. Maybe I misheard it. That's when it screamed "Moooooooooom!" And that's when I took off running toward the voice. I don't know where I'm going. The trees are closer together out here and everything growing out of the ground seems to try to trip or grab me. I'm stumbling , banging my knees, bumping my elbows and wishing I wore jeans rather than shorts. The more I run the louder the voice is. I keep letting it lead me. Whoever it is they're young maybe 4 from what it sounds like. "What's a kid doing this deep in the woods alone?" Suddenly I stumble into a small clearing with a cabin built in the middle of it. The door is ripped off its hinges, the windows are all busted and deep gashes are carved into the porch. The smell of blood is overwhelming. I can feel bile collecting in my throat. I keep it down, backing away I think about turning around and leaving. Then I hear it, the crying. It sounds so pitiful. The sound of someone small and alone who desperately needs help. I make up my mind and step toward the cabin.